232 // Rich in So Many Ways

It’s been a rough morning and for a while there I wasn’t sure I was going to make it through. Before I could even make it out of the door, I wanted to abort the whole day. I wanted to crawl back into bed and try again tomorrow.

But today is a big day, and no matter how my body and mind might be feeling right now, things might change. Maybe, if I try hard enough, I can change them.

That’s the attitude I’m brining to the day. It’s my first time teaching Crisis Intervention and Prevention. I haven’t been certified even a week. I haven’t even had time to sift through my materials, organize my notes and ideas, or to find my bearings or flow but already my workplace is trying to get their money’s worth and that means I’ve got to think on my feet, bring my best attitude, knowledge, and experiences. I have to bring confidence and enthusiasm.

I’m exhausted, burned out, and already longing for the weekend, but underneath it all I am so happy and proud of myself. I muddle through the material and molded and made it all in my image of what this job should be. I did a good job instilling the principles and driving home the lessons. I not only made it through the day, but I came away with big lessons and plans to make the next time even better than this one.

Health wise things are still slowly, so agonizingly slowly, getting better, or maybe they are only getting easier to cope with. Either way, my quality of life feels better. I feel more like myself, though I’m beginning to recognize that these past few months of uncertainty, pain, and exhaustion have changed me in ways I know I have yet to recognize.

More than anything, today was all about gratitude. I have laughter, support, respect, acceptance, and so much understanding. There are so many ways to be rich in life and today I feel wealthy beyond measure. I only wish it was wealth I could share more freely and widely with the world. I hope you have at least some small sum of what I have for yourself. I hope you know all the ways you are rich too. I hope both our stores continue to grow and grow and grow and grow…..

Well, last night didn’t turn out at all the way I hoped it would and as a result, I’m not in a great place emotionally this morning. Everything is fine, but I will need some time, some sunshine, some loud music, and at least one thing to go right before I can get out of my head and over this wallowing.

I had thought to make up some excuse to get out of the work I’d scheduled for myself today so I might get some time to myself to read or to write but I know I’ll only feel bad for it later. It might be better if I leaned in instead and kicked today’s ass rather than letting it kick mine.