364 // The Worst Part Is Already Over

This hasn’t been as smooth of a morning as yesterday was, but for me that’s to be expected. Unlike almost everyone else in the workforce, I’m always at my best on Mondays and as the week wears on my energy levels, attention to detail, and efficiency seriously deteriorate.

I know it’s only Tuesday, but this has been a hard week already. It hasn’t been due to any particular external stressor but simply my own anxieties. I have to teach a class tomorrow and the worry of it has been building since at least last Friday. I know the material, but I’m co-teaching with different people than I’m used to working with and the material has been updated, making me doubt my knowledge.

The week’s decline is also greatly accelerated by the wintery weather and some concerning effects of my the last in a series of iron infusions I had to undergo. The dosage was higher, and I ended up having a slight adverse reaction, leaving me feeling more fatigued than usual and generally icky.

Still, I am proud of myself for mustering the willpower to leave the bed early and work in time for meditation and a good stretching session before beginning the day. Taking those 10 to 15 minutes for myself every day really makes a difference. At the very least, I arrive to work with a sense of accomplishment already instilled.

I had thought to skip going in entirely and staying home, but today is scheduled to be a very, very short day and the worst part of it, the getting up and getting ready, is already over. All I have now left are a couple of quick tasks, a short bout of work outdoors, a bit of preparation to make for the next day, and a few emails to send off.

After that, it’s just breathing and remembering the blue sky until bedtime.


I’m feeling quite the opposite from last night. Much more productive and positive. I’ve been in the “creativity room” for hours now, writing little blog posts and working on my resume. I’m proud to announce it’s nearly finished now and all I have left is to draft a cover letter.

I’ve never had a resume before. I’ve worked at my current job since I was in my early 20s and since then I just haven’t needed one. I’ve taken on more responsibilities, been given more hours and perks, and the opportunity to learn a lot of neat things but none of them required a title change until now.

I was worried when I started it that there would be nothing to put on it but it turns out I have done and still do quite a lot, and I even left some out! I needed to see it all laid out like that to see just how hard-working and driven I am even with walls erected all around me I still find room to grow.

The day passed slowly and then suddenly, in just this moment, I feel like it’s just about over. There was so much more I wanted to do. Most days are like that I suppose. I think there is so much more time than there is and so much more energy and focus in me than is probably possible. Still, I feel good and for the rest of the evening, even if I do nothing else at all productive I have this small moment of pride. That’s more than most have on most days.