156// Observing

I’m out working at a different location today, observing a coworker teach the same CPR course I’ll be teaching beginning late next week. I’ll have the opportunity to watch this class four times before it will be my turn and I’m so grateful for the opportunity. Nothing helps my anxiety like being able to ease into a task or change. I already feel so much more confident.

Observing someone else teach class was very informative. I have a much better grasp of the flow and just have to get down the routine of videos, discussion questions, practices, testing, and breaks. Right now things are a little different than they would normally look because of the coronavirus. We’re not doing mouth-to-mouth directly on the mannequins but instead using masks and we are forgoing some of the optional First Aid practice items to maintain at least 6 feet of distance between employees.

It’s easy enough though and I’m looking forward next week when I teach my first classes under observation and finally become a full fledged instructor myself.

The rest of the day was rather dull. I spent my free time consuming the news, watching videos of protests and further police brutality, and trying to catch up on the sweeping and swift cultural and legal changes happening all over the country. Just here in Colorado, a police reform bill has been introduced and Denver Public Schools has ended their partnership with the police.

Seeing these big changes happen gives me hope and I’m excited by the momentum and the possibilities. My faith in humanity has been somewhat restored though I have deep fears about the growing backlash. They don’t have the numbers but they have always had the people at the top and a disturbing willingness to resort to cruelty. I hope everyone stays safe and hearts turn toward the light faster than they are consumed by the dark.


156 // Midweek, Mostly

It’s my second day at work after taking another three-day weekend and I’m already ready for the week to end.

I’m determined to work the rest of the week but my fatigue is terrible and only getting worse. Caffeine has stopped helping and I worry that increasing my intake will only make matters worse. I need more than rest or sleep. What I need is a break. I need time outside of time.

I need to get away from all the things that are making me anxious. I need to get away from work, from people, god, from myself most of all. I need to spend some time in deep focus I think. I have time to spend there but not enough time to get anything of substance or value done. Things interrupt me. I interrupt me.

These entries are inspired by TDH.se