Ask yourself honestly: are you looking for a steady, predictable life? Is this what you want? If so, you must realize that the world cannot offer you this. Everything in the world is in the process of change. Nothing is steady. Nothing is predictable. Nothing will give you anything other than temporary security. Thoughts come and go. Relationships begin and end. Bodies are born and pass away. This is all the world can offer you: impermanence, growth, change.”
Don’t get caught up in the day to day of content creation. This year, make those big writerly dreams—the ones that will take months or even years to complete—your top priority. Keep a close eye on the bigger picture. Progress there is harder to measure there but give it time, slowly, slowly…
Reading is not simply a hobby or means to pass the time and you must stop treating it as such. Reading is part of who you are. You grew through it and saw so much of this world and others through it too. Pick up your old friend again. Grow and see again.
Resolutions need not be permanent. What you want January 1st may not be the same as what you will want on July 1st. Reflect and adjust as needed. It’s okay! Change is not the same as failure and working toward what you used to want will not bring fulfillment or a sense of accomplishment.
You are not weak, but you are certainly vulnerable. These two are not the same and neither is inherently bad. You feel deeply, and hurt easily, but you are strong. This is what is good in you and recognizing it, embracing it, will only make you better. Love you.
When facing your fears, try to be understanding and compassionate with yourself. Being brave takes more than strength, it takes love and knowing yourself. It is yourself you have to fight, after all, and it is yourself who you must get through this, whole.
Reach out to people, not with likes and follows, but with phone calls, letters, and time spent together. Tell your friends you love them, let your family know how much you need them. You are made of the people around you and you only increase yourself when you strengthen those connections.
Last year was disappointing in many ways, but all years are. You just have to decide, 365 days from now, what disappointments you will be able to live with and which ones you won’t. You have to decide every day—every minute even!—because how you spend every minute of every day is how you will spend your year. Beware: making no choice (or leaving the choice to others or the apps on your phone) is the same as choosing.
P.S. I do have many more specific goals and resolutions for 2019, but I think of them simply as “to-do” items, small steps, subject to change as I change. This list is what is important. This list is the “how” not matter the “what”.