110 // A Terrifying Prospect

Things can always get worse and often do. They can get better too and do just as often. So, never get too comfortable, not with the good nor the bad. Life is always changing, and it’s never according to plan or even the wildest of imaginations.

It’s a terrifying prospect how much you can miss about yourself and others and how fragile health and happiness can be. It’s terrifying how much you can lose in an instant. The abyss is never very far and the wrong step in any direction can send you and your loved one’s plunging.

I am finally beginning to grasp the worth of a daily gratitude practice. The bad always feels so much more profound than the good, and in those bad times you need not just love and support, but the memory of who you were when you knew joy, awe, and hope. Remember: you can just as easily find yourself there again, too.

It would be easier to be an island unto myself, unbeholden to the expectations and judgements, needs and wants of others, but where would I find meaning then? I see now it’s through the suffering of others, and our own suffering in turn, and their suffering for us too that makes the meaning.

We find ourselves in that darkness. We find others there too, and, with time, we can heal and grow into a new light, together.

046 // Long-Term Oriented

Today has been a lazier day than I meant for it to be. I keep forgetting the week has technically already begun, and so should I. These holidays away from work always feel like extra Sundays rather than what they should be: time to begin the work rather than more time to rest.

From now on, I want these long weekends will be extra time for my personal pursuits rather than time to push off uncomfortable tasks.

From now on, I want my thinking to be long term oriented. I want the promise of a better tomorrow to be enough to get me out of bed, off the couch, and out from in front of the TV today. I want to be stronger than the temptations of right now.

Mindfulness will play a big part. I should be asking myself in the moments of listlessness and laziness, “what is important right now?” or even, “what do I need right now”?

Because sometimes I do need to rest and sometimes I do deserve a little time to sleep, scroll timelines, or watch another episode, but there has to be balance. There has to be time when what I need is to do the hard thing. There has to be time when the work is for me..

020 // The Right Choice

Today is a new day! Today a weight left my chest, and a tension left my shoulders. I’m a little less afraid. I’m a little less angry. I’m a little less hopeless.

Today there is a new leader of the free world was sworn in and he is one whose values and vision for this country and its many and diverse peoples are closer to something that looks like progress, unity, care, and compassion.

I’ve been waiting four long years and to be honest, I had so little faith in my fellow compatriots that I still can’t believe it happened.

I don’t believe everything will be peace and perfection for the next four years. Neither Biden nor Harris were my top choices to take the reins and lead us through this time of recovery and resolution, but the more I have thought about it and the more I have considered strategy, I think the best candidates won in the end.

The office of the presidency should be one of centrism. The President, after all, must represent all Americans and not just the right Americans, the real Americans, the Americans who elected him and constantly threaten his political future.

Biden wasn’t the right choice for me, but I have a feeling he’s the right choice for us all.