314 // From the Warmth and Comfort of My Couch

Winter has returned today with gloomy skies, steep temperature drops, and fat snowflakes falling off and on throughout the day. Thankfully, I’m working from home and get to watch this weather roll in from the warmth and comfort of my couch.

For the next three days, I’ll be attending a big and important virtual conference for work, and my district has trusted me to bring everything I’ve learned back to my coworkers. I’m excited about the opportunity and honored by the trust but I can’t help feeling a little bummed that the event isn’t being held in person, that I am not staying in a hotel somewhere in a city I’ve never been, enjoying a continental breakfast and networking in the lobby.

Still, there were some very cool moments, including the chance to hear animal behavior expert and autism activist Temple Grandin speak this morning! She is such an interesting and insightful speaker, and I feel ashamed not to have heard more of her talks until now. I fully intend to scour the internet for every video I can find of her. Might re-watch the film based on her life too. Might even buy her book!

Still, not everything has been good today. That great weight that had previously been lifted from my chest has already been loaded back on. My workplace has reversed position and asked that staff members return to work as early as this week.

At the same time, I’m also reading reports that my state is experiencing an uncontrolled spread of the novel coronavirus. I had hoped that management would allow us all some time away to take the precautions we needed and keep ourselves and our loved ones safe, but I guess the priorities have changed.

This all leaves me feeling very…angry. I simply can’t see any reason why we have to come back in so quickly. The students are staying home and the district has agreed to pay us through the next month. So, between the risk of contracting the virus and the benefit of having us all at home (including the chance to disinfect our work areas), I just don’t understand the reasoning.

Underneath that anger, there is fear. Even by the districts own metrics it isn’t safe for us to be at work and without knowing how my coworkers are spending their personal time or what precautions they are—or are not—taking I don’t feel that simply wearing masks, using hand sanitizer, doing our best to maintain a six feet of distance between us will keep me safe.

But what choices do I have?

This time change is still messing with me, but in a good way. I’m up before the sun this morning and already typing words. It’s been a long time since this has happened. I hope I never get used to the change, or, since I know I will, that it will at least go on getting easier.


So, it’s done, Zen and Pi is scrubbed clean and sporting a few new design tweaks. I’ll be honest, it was really hard to delete all those posts, but I had to do it so that I could turn that place into something else, something more.

And those old posts, they aren’t really gone, and they will be back, here, someday. I poured a lot of myself into that place so much that I almost wish I had kept going there and turned this place into Zen and Pi, but everything was so mixed up there I needed the blank slate just to figure out the next step.

I’ve started my first draft there, a piece that sums up what I see my philosophy to be right now. It’s not very good because I’m not an expert yet. I’m interested to see where I go from here and how much I change as I write there.