To what purpose, April, do you return again? Beauty is not enough. You can no longer quiet me with the redness Of little leaves opening stickily. I know what I know. The sun is hot on my neck as I observe The spikes of the crocus. The smell of the earth is good. It is apparent that there is no death. But what does that signify? Not only under ground are the brains of men Eaten by maggots. Life in itself Is nothing, An empty cup, a flight of uncarpeted stairs. It is not enough that yearly, down this hill, April Comes like an idiot, babbling and strewing flowers.
Easter is such a strange holiday. The combination of the literal belief in the resurrection and the pagan celebration of springtime complete with brightly colored eggs and chocolate bunnies make absolutely no sense to someone who is an atheist and has no children. It’s the one day of the year when the most people seem to have gone the most insane all at once.
I spent the day celebrating my birthday, again, and acknowledging that spring is the beginning of the napping season. The warm weather is becoming more consistent and the rains are rolling in regularly making napping easier to do and the later and later evening remove the guilt and the panic. Now there is time for you to be both productive and lazy. Enjoy it!
I wish I had enjoyed more of the day. We got out but only to run a few short errands. We picked up my prescription at the pharmacy. We dropped our invitations off at the post office. We did some thrift store browsing, and I bought a new book. Then we quickly went back home to sit in front of the TV and binge watch The OA on Netflix. It was a good day but I do wish I had spent more of it outside.
I wish I had woken up earlier and gotten out for a walk. I wish I had started cleaning up the yard. I wish I had watched the sun go down from the porch. I’ve become much too much of a homebody and I have forgotten how much the sun and the fresh air mean to me. I’ve forgotten how the trees sound in the wind and how good grass feels between my toes. I miss nature. I want to reconnect with her and make our time together a regular part of my days and weeks again.
The days have been warm but spring clouds of doom and gloom hover about. Sunshine bring hope but the depression of winter hasn’t lifted yet. There is a regular chill that blows through the city and on it a feeling of uncertainty rides. Winter still stalks and we’ll see snow by next Thursday. It is that time of year when life must fight to wake up and begin, again and again.
It was 60 degrees outside today. The sun was shining and with the time change it finally felt like Spring was on the way, and then the weather reports for tomorrow poured in and hour by hour it got worse and worse. Today was Spring, and tomorrow the schools are already closed for a snow day.
The whole city is shutting down, and many more across the state too. Tomorrow has been canceled so I’ll be staying in again, which means I’m staying up tonight, because, well, I don’t want to waste a second of this gift.
I’ll watch the storm roll in. I’m waiting for the rain now so I can fall asleep with the sound against my window. Tomorrow I’ll set up near the big living room window and count the inches as they accumulate.
I learned today that the lower the pressure of a storm, the stronger the storm is, and we will see some of the lowest pressure readings in the state’s history. A rare treat it seems. The storm will be “roughly equivalent to a Category 2 hurricane” only with snow instead of rain.
I’m actually a little scared, but kind of excited too, and very relieved that I’ll get to ride it out from inside.