208 // A Kind of Mother

We spent the afternoon at my niece’s 3rd birthday party. I enjoyed being with my family and I always take pride in being someone who always shows up, always supports, and always tries.

More and more I have been thinking about what it means to be a big sister and the oldest daughter in a family. I have been thinking that I am a kind of mother too.

All my life I have had to care for my siblings and now I see it was in preparation for what will eventually come. As my mother grows older, I become more aware of the transition we are all beginning to make to the time when I will take over as matriarch of the family. I’m terrified but also, honored.

I’m growing more and more comfortable offering advice and exerting my will where needed. There are places where tough love is needed, where listening is the best course of action, and where I will have to make sacrifices and repress resentment.

Yes, I am definitely a kind of mother.

Published by

Lisa Marie Blair

Painfully aware. Profoundly afraid. Perpetually falling in and out of love with humanity. She/They.

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