“Sometimes it’s not the people who change, it’s the mask that falls off.”
— Haruki Murakami
Opportunities for Self-Deception
“I’m interested in memory because it’s a filter through which we see our lives, and because it’s foggy and obscure, the opportunities for self-deception are there. In the end, as a writer, I’m more interested in what people tell themselves happened rather than what actually happened.”
— Kauzo Ishiguro
Nothing Happens
“What happens when you die? Well, we’re not completely sure. But the evidence seems to suggest that nothing happens. You’re just dead, your brain stops working, and then you’re not around to ask annoying questions anymore.”
— Ernest Cline, Ready Player One
Uncomfortable, but Not Dangerous
“These thoughts are uncomfortable, but not dangerous,”
— Debra Kissen, How to Stop Feeling Anxious Right Now
Thank You for Being
Mind Ur Step
So often on a plane train or in a car
But always on the way back to where you are
Do you still care
Do you still care
Stay with the Difficult Problem
“The system doesn’t stay with the difficult problem that produces unpleasant feelings. It’s conditioned somehow to move as fast as it can toward more pleasant feelings, without actually facing the things that’s making the unpleasant feeling.”
— David Bohm
A Stranger to Oneself
“The truth, forever, for everybody, is that one is a stranger to oneself, and that one must deal with this stranger day in and day out—that one, in fact, is forced to create, as distinct from invent, oneself.”
— James Baldwin
Survived
“When the chorus sing that the ‘name of the land will vanish’ and ‘Troy no longer exists’, they are singing for an audience for whom Troy’s name has survived.”
— P.E. Easterling on Euripides’s Trojan Woman, from ‘Form and Performance in Greek Tragedy’, The Cambridge Companion to Greek Tragedy
Johari Window
The Johari window is a technique designed to help people better understand their relationship with themselves and others.
In the exercise, someone picks a number of adjectives from a list, choosing ones they feel describe their own personality. The subject’s peers then get the same list, and each picks an equal number of adjectives that describe the subject. These adjectives are then inserted into a two-by-two grid of four cells.
Charles Handy calls this concept the Johari House with four rooms. Room one is the part of ourselves that we and others see. Room two contains aspects that others see but we are unaware of. Room three is the private space we know but hide from others. Room four is the unconscious part of us that neither ourselves nor others see.
Open
The open area is that part of our conscious self – our attitudes, behavior, motivation, values, way of life – that we are aware of and that is known to others. We move within this area with freedom. We are “open books”.
Façade/hidden
Adjectives selected by the subject, but not by any of their peers, go in this quadrant. These are things the peers are either unaware of, or that are untrue but for the subject’s claim.
Blind
Adjectives not selected by subjects, but only by their peers go here. These represent what others perceive but the subject does not.
Unknown
Adjectives that neither the subject nor the peers selected go here. They represent the subject’s behaviors or motives that no one participating recognizes – either because they do not apply or because of collective ignorance of these traits.
One therapeutic target may be the expansion of the Open (Arena) square at the expense of both the Unknown square and the Blind Spot square, resulting in greater knowledge of oneself, while voluntary disclosure of Private (Hidden or Facade) squares may result in greater interpersonal intimacy and friendship
Lisa Marie Blair 