If We Were Having Coffee // My Priorities Are Changing

Hello! Happy Sunday and welcome. Thank you for stopping by for a bit of caffeine and catching up.

I got up on at a decent time this morning but my body is still a bit sore from the return to jogging last week and my muscles are begging me to take it as easy as I can. I’m also not feeling super great emotionally which has more to do with the sudden onset of autumn than with anything going wrong in my personal life, though things are far from perfect there too. So, I’m staying in today to do laundry, meal prep my breakfasts for the next week, to just think, and to spend a little time with you.

Please, pull up a chair and fill up a cup. The chilly air is putting me in the mood for a hot cup of coffee this morning. I miss my old espresso machine but the Moka pot is close enough to satisfy the craving. Let’s talk about last week.

Adventure in life is good; consistency in coffee even better.

— Justina Chen Headley, North of Beautiful

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that most of last week was busy but not at all in a bad way.

Every other morning I woke up half an hour early to jog around my neighborhood. Every morning I have done this I have felt more energetic and focused, and my mood has been very much improved for the rest of the day. Every day I did this (and even the days in between when I rested and recouped) I was better able to avoid distraction and meet my reading and course goals. I got a lot done at work and even started early drafts of posts I want to share here.

I’m proud of the few days I got out but I wish in the days between I had been able to do some simple strength training at home. I’ve found quite a few beginner routines but this one from Nerd Fitness seems the simplest place to start. I know I can do it but knowing me, the best place to start is the easy place, get the schedule down and then work on building it up. Maybe this week I will be able to build on last week’s progress and add a couple more days of exercise.

In other health news, I had a doctor’s appointment on Monday and got nothing but high mark and good news. I’ve been given the okay to start tapering off of one of my medications and in a couple of months, I will lower the dose of the other. I get to stop taking the iron pills too though I do have to add magnesium, zinc, and peppermint oil. The goal now is to increase my fiber intact and continue healing my colon until I am not just inflammation free but maintaining a healthy diet and lifestyle.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that while most of the week was smooth sailing, but by Thursday and Friday I wasn’t doing all that great. I felt exhausted and like I was coming down with a cold or a nasty throat infection. Then I received some bad news about a close family member, something personal to them but for which I would have to step in and help with. Something that will take a lot from me to fix, maybe more than I can give.

I’m sorry to be so vague but this story doesn’t belong to me alone. I can say that it has been an ongoing issue, one that has caused a lot of worries and is starting to affect my feelings of self-worth and sense of stability.

Sadly, there are no good solutions but I’m trying to remember that the worst-case scenario might only be a temporary one and at best, helping will mean that people I love will be able to find their way back on their feet even if it means a small setback for me. For now, there is a lot of uncertainty and that is worse than any future I have imagined so far. I hope this week will decide one way or another what I am to do next.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that this weekend was good at least.

We spent Friday night at my mom’s celebrating the birthdays of two of my siblings. We came bearing gifts, good wine, and food. My godmother came to and her oldest daughter and it felt like a proper birthday party.

Since my wedding two months ago I’ve been feeling a little antisocial. I have seen little of my family and this weekend reminded me I need to get back to our regular visits. My siblings and I have such special relationships filled with so much more than love. We practice acceptance and forgiveness and look to one another more like friends and mentors. Our family is a safe space and I forget too often how much I need that.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that my father-in-law’s birthday was this week too and we spent Saturday evening celebrating him. We went to dinner at a Brazilian place where the carnivore in him found much satisfaction.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that this coming week is going to be far busier than this past one was. We have a new class of employees starting and at first I thought I wouldn’t have to help but as the numbers starting began to rise it became imperative that I clear my calendar to help. It’s not a bad thing though. I’ve been looking to work more hours and even get some overtime wherever I can.

I’m still getting used to being stand-by and working to find my footing in the new roles I have been working in. The expectations aren’t always clear and I carry constant anxiety about whether I am doing a good job. Every time I see my boss he assures me what I am doing is more than good enough but meeting with him are few and far in between and he isn’t my only boss.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that since this week will be so busy I am going to have to keep my personal goals light. I don’t plan on getting any serious writing done but I hope to work on my half pieces and share all the quotes and questions and pieces of art I’ve been saving up. I found some very cool collage techniques on Instagram this morning I’m itching to try myself too and, of course, as much reading as I can fit in.

With the season change and a new month on the way, I feel my priorities are changing. Summer has always been a time for me to connect with nature, gather new experiences and memories, to move my body and to soak up the sun while I can. With autumn moving in I feel more desperate than ever to be out of the chair and away from screens. What I mean is, don’t expect too much from me right now. When winter comes and there is nowhere to run but to writing then I will have more to show for myself, I promise.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that the sun is coming through the west windows and if I want to get these breakfast bowls prepped (I’m substituting sweet potatoes and chorizo) I had better get going. I want it all done before our shows tonight, before I have to “get to bed at a decent time”, and before I face the reality of how far away the next weekend is.

I hope you had a good week. I hope that you accomplished something you had hoped too and if you didn’t I hope you know you can always try again tomorrow. I hope you make time for you and wherever you are the sun is still warm, and you feel encouraged and safe.

Thank you for chatting, for being an ear, a shoulder, and a sounding board.

Until next time. 

Written for the #WeekendCoffeeShare link-up hosted by Eclectic Alli.

Photo by Ewa Fournier le Ray on Unsplash

Published by

Lisa Marie Blair

Painfully aware. Profoundly afraid. Perpetually falling in and out of love with humanity. She/They.

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