My stomach has been in knots all morning. I’m excited, and I’m also incredibly nervous. I always am before we see our friend, especially when there will be alcohol involved, which is every time we hang out with our friends. Social anxiety (no not just regular nervous but chest hurting, I think I’m going to throw up, maybe I should just stay home forever anxiety in advance of seeing some of my very best friends!) is killing me.

I’m trying to focus on the good. I know that I am well liked and even missed. I know people are excited to see me and that any social faux pas I commit and later agonize will probably go unnoticed by others.

The point is, I’m excited. The point is, this means a lot to me, these people mean a lot to me and I hope to have a good time.

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Lisa Marie Blair

Painfully aware. Profoundly afraid. Perpetually falling in and out of love with humanity. She/They.

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