If We Were Having Coffee // Time Before and in Between

Hello and happy Sunday! Thanks for stopping by for a bit of conversation and catching up over a cup of delicious coffee.

I’m feeling a bit fatigued this morning but I’m fighting it tooth and nail. I have too much to do to let a little chronic illness get in my way. The house is a mess. My resume still isn’t finished. The laundry is piled up. I have meals to prep, dinners to plan, pets who need attention and later, if there is time enough left, I’d like to do something for myself before the workweek begins. There may not be enough coffee in the house to get me through but there might be time for a nap in the middle of it all if I can keep moving now while I have the energy.

So, please, pull up a chair and grab a cup. I’m still in love with my French press though I’m starting to feel guilty for neglecting the Moka pot. I have a fresh bag of blond grounds and a fresh carton of sweet almond milk too though I am starting to miss the silkier texture and the firmer foam that comes from soy milk.

Let’s talk about last week!

“Black as the devil, hot as hell, pure as an angel, sweet as love.”

― Charles Maurice de Talleyrand

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that last week felt like a particularly long one. Between the weather, the added workload, and the raw anticipation of a Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving break, December, Christmas, and the New Year is making the time before and in between drag.

Most of the week was warm enough but around midday Wednesday things started to turn. A frigid wind blew bringing rain that froze overnight into heavy snow and icy roads by Thursday morning. I had checked the weather the day before and expected the storm to blow out of the city early in the morning but unbeknownst to me, the forecast had changed. We saw snow through the rest of the morning and the early afternoon.

Cold weather makes for hard days when you work in a transportation centered industry. It makes for even longer days when you are transporting the world’s most precious resource, children. The district opted to delay the start of school though none of us who have to venture out in the elements understand exactly how this is supposed to help. To us, it just adds chaos and confusion.

I continue to take on more responsibility and to stress myself out, for now, because I’m looking at the possibility of promotion. Before the year is over, I expect things to calm down. They have too because I am wearing myself out. I’m feeling worse, physically, but it’s not so bad that I can’t function, but I know from experience that things move downhill very slowly and then all at once I’m in pain, too sick to work, and sliding into depression. I’m emailing the doctor today so we can hopefully start doing some tests and get this thing under control before I’m too bad off.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you even though this week was a busy one I was able to plenty of reading time during lunch hours and in between work tasks. Last Thursday I wrote that I’d “finished Behave: The Biology of Humans at Our Best and Worst by Robert M. Sapolsky on Sunday, The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller this morning, started Zen in the Art of Writing by Ray Bradbury, and made slow progress through Moral Letters to Lucilius: Volume 1 by Seneca nearly every day.”

I will probably finish Zen in the Art of Writing tonight or tomorrow and next, I have The Communist Manifesto by Karl Marx and then Walden and Civil Disobedience by Henry David Thoreau, maybe. Since finishing The Song of Achilles I’ve wanted to read more fiction, maybe more from Madeline Miller too?

My next goal is to get back to writing my old “what I learned from..” book reviews. I like sharing the things I like and I like documenting and tracking my tastes and what I gained from what and from who. This blog, after all, is supposed to be a sort of second brain, and friend, a place to think and to bounce thoughts, ideas, and feelings off of. I already started a few drafts, but the starting has never been my problem, finishing is where the challenge lies.

Other than reading there wasn’t a lot I accomplished. In the evenings when I came home from work I had only enough energy to cook meals, clean, and care for the pets before I started

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that Thanksgiving is fast approaching and I still have no idea how I am spending the holiday. I feel like no one has the energy for it this year. I know I don’t. I’ll ask around this week and see if any of my family is planning on cooking and would like me to stop by, but if not it’s okay. I quite like spending holidays just my wife and I. I’ve already floated the idea of a seafood feast rather than turkey and the usual sides.

I’ve got to get my black Friday shopping itinerary in order too. I want to get my Christmas shopping early and there are a few things I’m hoping to snag for myself and our home too. A new thermostat, a phone upgrade, a new Roku perhaps so I can watch Apple TV+. There are an overwhelming number of craft markets popping up over the next few weeks and Target’s gift sections are already beginning to look picked over and bare. I have to get going on this soon!

Yesterday my wife and I decided that getting new tattoos together sounds like a nice couple’s Christmas gift for one another. For the past few years, we’ve only been getting little things here and there and we both agree it’s time to start something big. She’s considering a back piece and I might get my knees done finally, or maybe my thighs, or my stomach, or, or, or…It’s hard to choose so this week I’m going to start settling on some ideas.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that next week should be an easy one. I’m only working for three days, maybe only two depending on how much snow next Tuesday’s storm drops on us. I have some things scheduled but nothing major and knowing my boss and my coworkers it’ll be fun. The mood always lightens before a break.

The week after that will be hard though. I’m scheduled to teach another class of new employees and we have no idea yet how many there are going to be. I’ve been told anywhere from 4 to 20. That’s quite a spread. I’m looking forward to the overtime but not to the lost hours I normally give to reading and writing time.

I’ve been learning lately that not everyone can balance work and personal pursuits every day. Some days are going to be spent doing what has to be done and then there will be whole days where you get do whatever you want instead. I’m working on remembering this when I get stressed, frustrated or feel burnt out. I’m working on recognizing when my time is mine again and learning to spend it doing what will make me feel better in the long run and not what will feel good right now. I’ll really need to focus through the rest of the year if I want to begin 2020 with the right mindset.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that the sun and the chilly air coming in through the west windows is only reminding me of how close tomorrow is and how much more I still have to do. It reminds me of just how tired I am too. If I want to get anything done and then get any rest, I guess I had better get going. 

I hope you had a good week. I hope that you had plenty of time for yourself and you can rest easy today knowing you’ve accomplished what you set out to do. If you didn’t or if you can’t I hope you know every day is a new chance to try again.

Until next time.

Exhale // Kemba ft. Smino

Written for the #WeekendCoffeeShare link-up.

Photo by Julien Labelle on Unsplash


Published by

Lisa Marie Blair

Painfully aware. Profoundly afraid. Perpetually falling in and out of love with humanity. She/They.

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