I’m doing better than yesterday but I’m still not okay. I’m teaching a class this week and thank God I’m not on my own. I’m toughing it out as much as I can and looking forward to leaving as soon as I can. I wish everyone around me knew how hard I was trying. It feels good to give my all, to know that I can fight through this disease, but it doesn’t feel very good that I have to; you know?
It wouldn’t be so bad but my schedule is relentless right now and I feel bad for not doing my best work, or, I’m afraid I’m not doing my best work. I’m also in desperate need of some time for myself, to do the things that make me feel better. I don’t know if I mean that. I think I’m in desperate need of the desire to do the things that make me feel better. Right now the only desire I feel is for sleep.