The clouds and bitter cold has returned today. I nearly forgot winter was so close with all the mild weather we’ve been having. I dared to believe we might float on through the new year right into springtime with nothing but 40 and 50 degree temperatures and clear skies. I miss that blissful ignorance.

For a Monday the morning went by quickly but the afternoon feels nearly at a standstill. I blame the meds. Steroids and coffee together in the morning are a potent mix but the crash is unpredictable, sudden, and harsh. I spent my work hours after lunch doing menial tasks with the lights low in the office trying not to fall asleep and not to bring on a headache with the effort.

I’m home now, slightly earlier than usual and dreading the evening to come. There is still more Christmas shopping to do and I’m already so exhausted I know it will take a lot out of me to get it done. Still, it’s important, and honestly the ability to buy so much for so many is a privilege.

I’m looking forward the feeling that comes with having it done and the joy I know giving will bring to others. There is good that comes in the effort and more to be found in the season if you look for it.


Published by

Lisa Marie Blair

Painfully aware. Profoundly afraid. Perpetually falling in and out of love with humanity. She/They.

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