Starting today, I’m severely limiting my access to social media and the news, especially any updates concerning the novel coronavirus and COVID-19. Lately I’ve been obsessed, scrolling endlessly on my phone while CBSN loops in the background. It’s become very unhealthy and quite detrimental to my well being. I’m going to spend this time reading, writing, and planning. I’m going to spend it resting. I’m going to spend it with my wife. We’ll watch movies, shows, rest, and maybe get a few house projects done too.

Even with a plan, it’s hard to know how I should spend the days. Most weekends I savor my time for rest. When you know you have to go back to work in the next few days lounging on the couch is a treat, a craving, a guilty pleasure and an essential part of self-care but when you know work is two weeks away or more, the burden of the foreseeable boredom weighs on you in the present and suddenly doing something, anything, becomes paramount in your mind.

So, we ventured out into the world to pick up a few things. Luckily, we aren’t in need of any real essentials. We wouldn’t be able to get them if we did. Instead, we just needed some soy milk and orange juice, snacks, some pasta for dinner, a bottle of wine and a bottle of whiskey. I think we’re set for the next few days with that. We’ll try for more on Monday when most people have gotten their weekend shopping out of the way and returned to work.

Many of the shelves were bare, but it honestly wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. It was nerve-wracking to be out. Every surface is unclean, and every person is a potential source of infection. You avoid touching things or walking too close to others. You become hyperaware of what your hands and your face as you try to remember not to rub your eyes or scratch your nose. The air quickly becomes hard to breathe. I didn’t stay out long, I couldn’t, and as soon as I got home I washed my hands thouroghly and wiped down most of our hard surfaces.

The threat is in the house and outside of the house now and whether I am in or out I am afraid. I hope this all ends soon, but all indication and predictions say it’s only the beginning.


Published by

Lisa Marie Blair

Painfully aware. Profoundly afraid. Perpetually falling in and out of love with humanity. She/They.

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