If We Were Having Coffee // Making Time and Mental Space

This morning is a late and slow start, as most Sundays are no matter what alarms I set, promises or threats I make to myself. I stayed up too late last night alternating between binge-watching two different show (a new low for me) and struggled to rise more than halfway out of a deep sleep.

In that zombie state I hit dismiss instead of snooze and lost an hour of daylight and since yesterday was such a lazy day, I now have twice the cleaning and writing to do. Every hour counts now. I was able to get moving fast when I got out of bed and I’ve already knocked an item or two off the to do list. It’s time to take a break and replenish my caffeine stores and catch up with you.

So, please, pull up a chair, though not too close, and fill up a cup. The sun is back out again and we are looking at very spring-like temperatures. I think winter has finally been sent firmly on her way, but here in Colorado we cannot be really sure until May. I have a new cold-brew coffee maker but I forgot to fill it last night so we’re still having the warm light roast from the French press with sweet and frothy vanilla oat milk to smooth and temper the brew. Let’s talk about last week.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that this past week was yet another in a long stream of weeks spend holed up at home under stay at home orders from our Governor. I’ve been looking at graphs and trying to follow the cases and the deaths that way rather than watching the news and it seems the curve is flattening here and the Governor insists were on track to reopen the state within the next few weeks. I’m terrified that we are going back to normalcy way too soon.

It’s hard to put all my trust in the school administration, the local government, and the federal government, especially when you get the feeling that the longer the economy is halted, and people aren’t making money, the more putting people’s health and lives at risk feels reasonable. If I had to go back to work, I would worry the whole time about becoming one of the first to get sick in a new round of increased infections as all we achieved by staying home was undone.

Luckily, I personally won’t have to head back out quite yet. Since schools are closed for the rest of the year, I have another month at least before I might be asked back. I plan to continue social distancing until then and to keep a close eye on how the virus spreads through the phased reopening of the country and depending on whether cases increase or decrease I will decide whether I want to work this summer at all.

As scared as I am part of me wants very much to return to work as soon as possible though. I miss my coworkers and I’m anxious to find out just how much life will change once the world gets going again. There are already emails being sent from my supervisors about new protocols that will be put in place including one-on-one training which will result in a lot more work for me but guarantees a lot more pay.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that despite being isolated at home away from my friends and family, and an intense snow storm and record cold temperatures, I still managed to have a delightful birthday celebration.

My wife did everything she could to make it special. She made a big breakfast, and we had mimosas to go with it. We spent a lot of the day being lazy and watching our favorite shows and a few new movies until it was time to cook dinner. We made my favorite birthday meal, crap legs and artichokes, with plenty of wine and for dessert I had a delicious almond cake.

I got some pretty awesome gifts too. I got a bone-handled pocketknife with everything you need to carve your own design in the handle. I got a cold-brew coffee making carafe. I got a neat box of matches from Strike Your Fancy, and the gift I’m most excited about, my first longboard!

I’ve been wanting to learn how to longboard for years but I’ve been too scared to make the leap and get one, now I have no excuse! I have a small street and parking lot near my house to practice the basics and after that I hope this will be a new way for me to stay active and inspired to get outside more. I only hope I win’t look too stupid and that the critical voice inside me saying I am too old for such silliness is entirely wrong.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that I have made the tough decision to take a break from these weekly coffee catch up posts and this coffee share will be the last for a long while at least.

Sundays are just so full as it is and there is a lot more I would like to do with them but between writing this and getting the cleaning done there isn’t much space for anything else. I have courses I would like to focus on right now and in the future even after I have to return to regular working hours and I have a lot more writing I want to do and if I want to make time and mental space I have got to let something go. I’m sorry it had to be these posts, but since I’m already posting daily updates, I figure this would be a good place to start.

I won’t be gone forever and you will still get plenty of updates from me. I’ve already been posting daily-ish journal entries and whenever I really start missing these chats I will come back. Maybe every few weeks or once a month or so, who knows.

I’m incredibly grateful for the Weekend Coffee Share community and I will still be checking in on all of you and reading your posts. Coffee is still a daily staple and on Sundays especially, that will never change.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that lunchtime has come and passed and the slippery time of the day is already getting away from me. I want to try a little experiment today and see if time might re-solidify and start making sense if I tried getting off the couch and doing something new, something more physical with it.

I hope you are still safe and that you have been able to stay home for your sake and for the sake of others. If you are one of the many deemed too essential to quarantine, I want to say a most heartfelt thank you to you and to your loved ones for the risk you have taken for us all. We owe you all a better life after all of this is over.

Until next time.

Written for the #WeekendCoffeeShare link-up hosted by Eclectic Alli.

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

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Published by

Lisa Marie Blair

Painfully aware. Profoundly afraid. Perpetually falling in and out of love with humanity. She/They.

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