I’ve had to step away from this place again. It’s been over a week since I posted here, though not necessarily since I’ve written one of these entries. I do my best to get down my thoughts and reflections every evening, but lately I’m so exhausted that by the time I get a paragraph or two out, my eyelids start dropping and the next thing I know I’m out.
Now those entries gather dust in the drafts folder. Maybe I’ll finish them up and send them out. Maybe not.
For no rhyme or reason whatsoever, today is different. My body is mostly cooperating, giving me more energy to spend on one or two things that I love.
So much has happened since I last updated you, I hardly know where to begin. Last we spoke I thought I had turned a corner and was on my way to finally healing. I was wrong, and very quickly after that I spiralled faster and farther than ever. I’ve met with my doctor since, received good news and bad news, a Plan A and a Plan B, and told to do a little more waiting and seeing but the end, for good or bad, is in sight.
I got through two full days of classes for a much-needed certification I needed to teach Crisis Prevention and Intervention at my workplace. I’m excited to finally have the language and tools to further embed my passion for empathy, safety, and restorative justice into my workplace culture. More than that, I’m excited to have a team on my side driven to do the same.
There has been high highs and some low lows, but today is just today and the past week or more, all the good and bad is all then and I’m practicing more of being in the now. Right now, I feel better. Right now, I feel good. Right now I am taking a moment to breathe, to speak, to reflect, and to stop and simply say, “hi”.
Lisa Marie Blair 