161 // Get Myself to Sleep

The day was all wrong from the start. The problem is, I went to bed far too late last night, again, and woke up feeling exhausted and groggy, just as I knew I would. I take responsibility for those choices and can honestly say, despite the consequences, I don’t regret a single thing.

So, I won’t dwell on the past or pretend to beat myself up. I’ll simply deal with the fallout the best I can—with strong coffee and a brisk walk or two to keep the blood flowing—and keep my mind on the light at the end of the workday tunnel.

The end of the day came, and it hit me hard. I struggled to stay awake all day in my conference class and as soon as I got home I wanted to crash out on the couch but I knew I couldn’t. I had resolved to start cooking at home again and put off the habit change too long. Food would start going bad if I didn’t get in the kitchen tonight.

I did it but I hated it and now my mood is soured.

I just need to sleep. I just need to get myself to sleep.

I’d considered staying home tomorrow since the three days of classes I’m taking (the one today and two others on Wednesday and Thursday) will be long but I cannot pass up the hours, no matter how tempting the rest would be.

I just need to get myself to sleep now…

Published by

Lisa Marie Blair

Painfully aware. Profoundly afraid. Perpetually falling in and out of love with humanity. She/They.

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