The morning started out well but I’m feeling rather unnerved and I can’t figure out why. Everything is good. I’m on time. I’m relaxed. I’m getting shit done. I guess the reasons I should be feeling good are exactly the reasons I’m so worried. I’m not used to this feeling.

After the doctors visit yesterday I picked up a bottle of magnesium gel caps with the hope of not only improving my ulcerative colitis symptoms but of aiding in my quest for a good night’s sleep too. I took just one with dinner and—I know it’s probably all in my head but—I really feel like I slept better last night and got up right on time to go for a short jog this morning with no issue.

Last night I wasn’t able to get my body weight routine in, but, oh well, I’ll try again tomorrow evening. I may go out running again to make up some of the time and distance lost on my morning run to sidewalk closures this evening, but if I don’t, it’s fine too. I deserve the rest anyway.

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Lisa Marie Blair

Painfully aware. Profoundly afraid. Perpetually falling in and out of love with humanity. She/They.

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