This morning was a good one. I woke up on time despite forgetting to check that my alarm was set last night and I got ready for work so smoothly I still can’t shake the feeling I must have forgotten something critical.
I got to work early and had plenty of time to prepare for my route and then hardly any kids showed up. The person I was supposed to test after my route ended up canceling and I have hours to myself for quiet work and a few podcasts.
It’s turning out to be a pretty good day!
Today turned out to be an uneventful day and uneventful, it turns out, is more exhausting than busy.
I had time for what I wanted to do but the time I put into my personal pursuits only ever amount to incremental, almost imperceptible, progress whereas my day job is made up of tasks with beginnings, clear steps, and satisfying endings. No wonder I choose my day job over my passions so often. No wonder chasing my dreams feels so silly, pointless, and impossible in comparison.
Still, even with these negative and nagging thoughts in my head, part of me is happy. Perhaps that is the feeling I am chasing. Perhaps it will get bigger with time.