Goals // Week 47

This week shouldn’t be any more difficult than the last. I have the same amount of work scheduled and the same surplus of free time. The trick will be the same as the trick always is, to be mindful of how I spend my time, to keep at it even when I don’t want to, and to be fiercely protective of my focus. 

This week I want to:

Listen to more music. I love finding new playlists to listen to while I work or write or read but lately, I have had to be so available for others that there is no time to tune out and focus. But, as someone who suffers from social anxiety and a tendency to overthink and succumb to irritable moods, music is a vital recalibration tool. Music is self-care. Bonus: Listen to more podcasts too!

Update: I made sure that when I was home, while cooking or washing dishes, I listened to a few songs at least. While I was at work I played my podcasts too though I dealt with so many interruptions that I can’t recall half of what I learned. Thank god for 1.5x listening speed!

Find a little spark for my next piece on Zen and Pi. I am excited to be publishing writing outside of my daily journals and life updates here but I’m feeling pretty low on direction and ideas at the moment. This week I will spend some time with pen and paper mind mapping and listing even the most uninteresting or absurd ideas. I would love to end the week with 5 things I’m excited to expand on.

Update: I found a small spark but I haven’t been able yet to coax it into a finished piece. I suppose that is okay. I told myself that as long as I made the effort every day I could take as long as I needed to publish any new pieces.

 Get through the first half of The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller. I finished Behave: The Biology of Humans at Our Best and Worst by Robert M. Sapolsky last night—finally!—and I’ve already picked up the next book. The Song of Achilles wasn’t supposed to be my next read, but I feel the need to switch gears and lose myself in fiction for a while.

Update: I got through ALL of The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller and the Zen in the Art of Writing by Ray Bradbury too! I only wish I had had this zest and enthusiasm for reading months ago then I might not be so far behind my goal for the year.

Continue waking up on time every morning. I’ve been doing so well in the mornings and I really want that to continue for as long as possible. This week I’m going to remember that getting ready for any day begins the night before and that “5 more minutes” in bed never feels good and does great damage to the rest of the day.

Update: Why are mornings so hard for me? I’ve been working this early schedule for over 13 years now. When will I finally get used to the routine? Never probably. Oh well, all I can do is keep trying.

Finish my resume and prepare for an upcoming interview. This is exactly the kind of task that I would avoid doing until the last minute. I’ve never had a resume before. I don’t know what I am doing, I’m afraid of looking foolish, and I am afraid of failing. At the same time, I know it won’t actually take very long. My mind will convince me it’s ok to put it off. Do not listen! Bonus: Ask two or three trusted coworkers for a letter of recommendation too.

Update: I’m scared and feeling a little inadequate and avoidance is the only way I know how to cope. I have to stop though and before the end of Thanksgiving break I will have this done.

This week I’m going to build on the progress from last week but only an incremental amount, that is key! I’m still not feeling like my healthier self and I fear I’m getting worse all the time. I fear burnout, overstressing, and exhaustion. I fear there’s a high possibility that by midweek I’ll have done all I can and I’ll have to cut these goals short just to get through the workweek, and that will have to be okay.

P.S. For a look at how I fared last week check out my updated post for Week 46.

Photo by Bruno van der Kraan on Unsplash


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Lisa Marie Blair

Painfully aware. Profoundly afraid. Perpetually falling in and out of love with humanity. She/They.

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