Not much better than yesterday to be honest, perhaps worse if I think about it too much. I couldn’t get out of bed on time and though I feel a bit of disappointment over it I can tell by how easily and deeply I slept even after having woken up, made myself breakfast, and had my morning coffee. I’m exhausted and there is no use fighting it. I have to give my body what it wants before it has no choice but to take what it needs.

I’m up now though and doing my best to complete just one or two to-do items. I’m not shooting any higher than “better than nothing” today and even that might be asking too much.

But just because I can’t do a big thing, doesn’t mean I should do nothing. I can find something to do that is more in line with where I am mentally and physically. Today I cannot write much, or work out, or get through the list of chores, but I can finish reading a book today. I can pile up the pillows and blankets in a corner of the couch and spend the afternoon with Baruch Spinoza.

I can learn something. I can get a little closer to my reading goals. I can make some use of this day.


Published by

Lisa Marie Blair

Painfully aware. Profoundly afraid. Perpetually falling in and out of love with humanity. She/They.

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