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A decent night’s sleep had turned everything around. Now I just need a few more nights in a row like it and I should be back to my old self. My hopes aren’t that high though. I never sleep well more than a night or two at once. I suspect tonight my mind will be back up to it’s old tricks and by tomorrow I’ll be my old lethargic self.

But for now, I feel good. I’m in the mood for work, for people, for trying hard and making progress. Unfortunately, my return to sociability has made painfully clear that my poor mood and lack of patience over the course of the last couple of weeks has burned a few bridges, but that’s okay, they weren’t ones I was eager to cross back over any way. What I care to repair I will and to be honest I only care to repair relationships with people who understand and need no explanations or apology, anyway.

And maybe the time for making up and making things right isn’t while I’m still in the middle of trying to get well, to get off my medication, and to just make it through each day with my self worth and enthusiasm for life intact.

Published by

Lisa Marie Blair

Painfully aware. Profoundly afraid. Perpetually falling in and out of love with humanity. She/They.