220 // Pretty Proud of Myself

My anxiety is sky high today! I have a very long, very important, virtual class to attend today and I’ve heard I will have to participate a lot. I hate participating.

At least, even though I’m doing this all from my little corner desk at home, I won’t be alone. My whole work team will be in the class with me and we’ll be texting each other the whole time. Afterward, I hear I’ll have an exam too. Even though I have little doubt I’ll pass, tests have always terrified me. I can study until I know the material inside and out, but as soon as it’s time to test my knowledge my mind goes blank.

Considering everything going through my mind, it’s probably best I get a long mediation session in, then get my water, my coffee, my snacks, and all my comforts set up to begin. Wish me luck!


I made it! The class was long and nerve-wracking. I’m exhausted. I did have to participate a lot, but thankfully the facilitators allowed us to work in small groups rather than in front of the whole class. I had hoped at first to get a chance to work with my coworkers, but I kept randomly getting placed with strangers. Now I’m grateful. I’m facing a lot less embarrassment after the fact.

Still, I can’t wait to hear more about what they learned and the ideas they have. For my part, I took extensive notes and plan to do what I do best, drastically change our training focus and make more work for myself.

I’m feeling pretty proud of myself too. I not only made it through, but I even passed my online exam 100%! Now it’s time to treat myself and indulge in some fast food: cheeseburgers, cajun fries, a nice cold hard cider, a big bowl of raspberry sorbet, a couple hours of mindless TV, and an early bedtime. I’ve earned it!

Published by

Lisa Marie Blair

Hello! I'm an aspiring writer fascinated by the human condition. You can find much of my work on my personal blog and at Zen and Pi. I also tweet as @lisamarieblair_ and share pictures and poetry on Instagram. Please consider signing up for my newsletter or supporting what I do by sharing a cup of virtual coffee. Thank you!

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