233 // Heavy

Today I am grateful for:

1. My siblings. I’ve been hearing from them all more often than usual lately, and it has meant the world to me. I’m the oldest sibling and for most of my life I have been the one reaching out, checking in, making sure everyone stays in the fold. It’s nice to be the one being checked on for a change.
2. Small signs of improvement. I may or may not be imagining them, but I don’t care. I’m clinging tightly to any signs of healing and fiercely protecting every one as a seed of hope I desperately need. I’ve always been a realist, but these days reality is too harsh to take straight.
3. Who I did not become as much as who I am. I feel my habit of comparing myself to others slowly slipping away as I realize that our strengths are often the same as our flaws and looking at myself I think I’d take the soul and sprit I’ve been given and that I have fought to build over so much of what I see in others, even those I love the most.