274 // Bad Start

Today I am grateful for:

  1. A good night’s sleep or two. It’s been two night’s in a now that I have not been kept up with pain and discomfort. This is the most concrete sign of healing and the greatest hope I have felt in months. I’m even daring to imagine that in a few days, a week, a month even I might be back to something like my old self again!
  2. The end of the month. September was almost more than I can bear. There was stress, but I’m not just talking about that. There was joy too, but even that weighted on me. I’m ready for a new beginning, even if it’s only an artificial one. I’m ready for time to move on already.
  3. Well thought out, documented, and executed plans. I’ve always been an anxious person, but knowing what comes next, and next, and next has always been the best way for me to feel safe, secure, and to keep calm. One of the best parts of my job is that I get to be the one to make that plan every day.

Published by

Lisa Marie Blair

Painfully aware. Profoundly afraid. Perpetually falling in and out of love with humanity. She/They.

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