179 // Be Grateful Instead

Another long, sweltering day ahead of me but my mood has slightly improved. It is finally Friday, and the schedule is much more relaxed than the last few days have been. Still, I’m struggling and the only thing that is keeping me going is the hope that there will be a few drinks and a few close friends to spend the evening with. I need to find a way out of this funk I have been in!

So, the night dinner and drinks gathering I’d hoped for didn’t work out. Everyone is busy, or tired, or watching their spending. Next weekend too, and then there is the wedding, so we all have tentative plans for the weekend after the weekend after this weekend. When you’re over 30 friendships barely exist.

But, the night wasn’t terrible. My fiance and I are spending the evening with a pepperoni pizza, The Handmaid’s Tale, and High Life. We have a busy weekend ahead so staying in and foregoing the alcohol was probably a good decision, though I am still rather bitter and restless.

But I’m trying to be grateful instead. The weekend is over and I am home. It’s all I have been asking for and I have it finally.

Published by

Lisa Marie Blair

Painfully aware. Profoundly afraid. Perpetually falling in and out of love with humanity. She/They.

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