I’m in an anti-social mood today. People want too much from me and nothing they say amuses, educates, or enlightens. I’d love to run away now, far away from them all. I want silence and to sleep. I want to get away from myself too. I feel sorry for myself and disappointed in all aspects my life, but I won’t lift a finger to change any of it.

I don’t write that to be negative. I don’t enjoy spreading my misery around and I don’t think it makes for good writing or reflection either; I write it because seeing it in black and white puts it into perspective. Sharing it shrinks it and reminds me how silly and ungrateful I am behaving.

Some days my moods and my fatigue are out of my control, and some days I could the day into my own hands, change everything, and make what I really want out of it. The trick is knowing which days are which.

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Lisa Marie Blair

Painfully aware. Profoundly afraid. Perpetually falling in and out of love with humanity. She/They.

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