I’m in an anti-social mood today. People want too much from me and nothing they say amuses, educates, or enlightens. I’d love to run away now, far away from them all. I want silence and to sleep. I want to get away from myself too. I feel sorry for myself and disappointed in all aspects my life, but I won’t lift a finger to change any of it.

I don’t write that to be negative. I don’t enjoy spreading my misery around and I don’t think it makes for good writing or reflection either; I write it because seeing it in black and white puts it into perspective. Sharing it shrinks it and reminds me how silly and ungrateful I am behaving.

Some days my moods and my fatigue are out of my control, and some days I could the day into my own hands, change everything, and make what I really want out of it. The trick is knowing which days are which.


Published by

Lisa Marie Blair

Painfully aware. Profoundly afraid. Perpetually falling in and out of love with humanity. She/They.

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