Today is the first day of the first step of my position change at work. Today I was taken off of my route, the route I have been doing for years with kids I have known for years and shifted to a standby packing, meaning I can fill in on routes that need it, but my real job now is to ride on routes with other drivers and assistants to make sure they are doing ok.

My goal is to help them do their jobs better and support them through tough situations and adjustments during a time when management is just too busy and bordering on too impatient.

I’m grateful for the opportunity to do more fulfilling work and I am especially excited to have so much choice and control over what I am doing, but damn is it scary! I’m doing my best to keep my cool on the outside but inside all alarms are sounding. I have only just begun to leave the comfort zone and already I feel overwhelmed and panicky, but I’m letting the alarms sound and still moving forward too. It will get better.

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Lisa Marie Blair

Painfully aware. Profoundly afraid. Perpetually falling in and out of love with humanity. She/They.

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