It’s the last day I’ll have with breaks and a guaranteed lunch hour. Tomorrow the new class starts and I’m beyond anxious over it. Last night I kept waking up from dreams where the class was too big or too unfocused to teach and I had to keep reminding myself there was no need to worry yet, I had another day before the new employees begin, anyway.

I know tonight will be more of the same. Even though I know I’m good at what I do and that I have a ton of knowledge and patience to get them through the training and out onto the buses it still never seems to get easier. Public speaking is hard. Being in charge is hard. Doing things that matter is hard.

At the same time I’m excited. I like teaching people how to do what I do and I enjoy taking our small slice of the education system and making it the very best I can. After every class I get new ideas and by the time the next has started corrections and improvements have been made. This week we have changed some of the outdated (and borderline offensive) wording of the old PowerPoints and added new wheelchair crash test videos to drive home the importance of safety.

I’m brainstorming some ideas for a slide or three to start our diversity training. Eventually I’d like that to be a day of training all itself but I’m not knowledgeable enough myself but I have a mentor in mind if she’s up to taking me on. So, I’m excited not just to teach but to learn too. To make them better and to make myself better too.


Published by

Lisa Marie Blair

Painfully aware. Profoundly afraid. Perpetually falling in and out of love with humanity. She/They.