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Today is the first Sunday in months that feels like a real Sunday. I’m thinking more about work than I am about the freedom and the goals I had for today.

I’m trying to remember all the goals and joys I had at work. I’m trying to remember who I was two months ago when life was put on hold. I’ve changed a little since then I think. I’ve grown in ways I am only begining to become aware of. This time alone, this loneliness, these hours outside of time where I could belong to myself as fully as any human can hope for, have shown me something I never would have seen, who I and and what kind of life is like to have.

My job is a good one as far as jobs go but it’s not how I’d like to spend my life. I’m not sure what that means, if I could or want to even change it, but it’s s feeling I can’t shake and a fact I cannot unlearn about myself. The future is more uncertain than I can even begin to comprehend right now.

Published by

Lisa Marie Blair

Hello! I'm an aspiring writer fascinated by the human condition. You can find much of my work on my personal blog and at Zen and Pi. I also tweet as @lisamarieblair_ and share pictures and poetry on Instagram. Please consider signing up for my newsletter or supporting what I do by sharing a cup of virtual coffee. Thank you!

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