117 // Wishing for the Sun

Winter weather has finally given way to spring storms. The clouds have rolled in and the rain is forecasted to stick around for at least the next days or two. The weather experts are calling this our first severe storm of the year. I’m excited by the prospect of high winds and hail, and I’ve missed the sound of rolling thunder for half a year now, but I can’t help wishing for the sun. I’ve needed light and warmth more than ever lately.

But the truth is, the sun and the whole bog blue sky is still there, even when I can’t see it. There is space that exists above the storms, above the cold, above all the drear and drab. There is warmth even if it can’t reach me, and even if it can’t reach me today that has nothing to do with how the air will feel on my skin tomorrow, and it by no means stops me from bringing yesterdays blue skies along to warm me whenever I need.

As for the work of life, it’s easier today. I’m more rested than I have been in days, and my mood is stable. I’m a little anti-social but not angry or avoidant. I’m only reflective and taking life all too seriously and days like this tend to put me at odds with the general public and their little whims and worries.

Writing is coming easier and easier. I feel myself slowly getting back into my old groove. The scheduled hour of “real writing” is proving to be helpful in some surprising ways. Not only does it get me to do the hard part at least once a day, it makes it easier to get other things like these journal entries, post drafting, image searching, commenting, curation, and tweaking appearance or making customizations without feeling guilty.

It turns out that knowing what to do and when is half the battle. Once you make it that far, the rest just takes a small dose each of courage, focus, and dedication to get you the rest of the way.

118//366

Something is changed today. I feel like I am starting a real week. I feel on top of my tasks and excited about the coming days. It’s probably just my body adjusting to the cold-brew coffee. Caffeine does as much for the emotions as it does for the body.

I spent the morning working on the most mundane task: choosing between this years employer based health insurance options. At least the offerings are much cheaper than any years past and I will see a significant saving over the next 12 months. Adulting can be exciting.

After so much fun I really needed to get out of the house so I accompanied my wife to her workplace to pick up a desk printer. She needs it for work, but I hope to use it to fill out the handouts for The Science of Well-Being course I’m taking. After that it was curbside pickup from Chipotle and a trip to my mom’s to drop off needles and thread for her to make some masks. I didn’t go in her house, but it sure felt good to see her and my little sister.

When we got home, I felt renewed and decided to take some time to work on cleaning my side of the “creativity room”. The mess is more than I could get through in a day, but a little work every day could do the trick. I’m thinking again about what else a little work a day could get me.

A long time ago I had a goal of writing an essay a week, 52 essays for the year. It’s easier than trying to get from the start to the finish of a piece in a day, but it still requires a daily practice. Maybe…maybe…