276 // Progress Enough

I woke later than I meant to this morning, but the start was so perfect I hardly noticed I was behind. My wife made perfect cranberry-almond scones and I’ve perfected the art of making coffee from a Moka pot. The sun was shining early and the weather warmed enough to take the dog out for a good walk.

It has been a busy Sunday since, full of chores and to-dos. Most Sundays I struggle through, but I’m practicing being more aware of how my mind works and how easily I can find myself off task or derailed for the day. Being mindful and understanding, gentle but firm with myself, has made it easier to get through the work and find time for the things I love a lot faster. A list helps. Time limits help. Finishing each task one at a time helps.

Resistance is a harder obstacle to overcome. I’m resistant to having to do the tasks in the first place. I feel angry whenever I have to give up time doing the things I love for things that are tiresome and uncomfortable. What’s helped there is to see everything I do as either a kind of art or as an act of service. I do things for my family. I do them for my home. I do them, ultimately, for me.

By staying present and mindful, focusing on each task objectively, I can clean, organize, and complete my tasks thoroughly and to the best of my ability. It feels good to know I’ve done it right. It feels good to give my best to even the smallest and most mundane tasks.

And now, it seems the Sunday blues aren’t so bad. My anxiety has come down since this time seven days ago, since there’s no way the coming week could be any harder on me than the last. I’ve been getting better at preparing for the weekdays, though I have only gotten worse at beginning them.

I’m hoping this week I can do a little better. I’m hoping this week will see as much improvement as each before. I’m optimistic and if nothing else that can be progress enough for me.

I’m actually feeling really good this morning. I have no earthly idea why, since I didn’t sleep any better and work is as stressful as ever, but I know overthinking will ruin it, so I’m choosing to let myself simply enjoy it.

We have cloudy and cold conditions again for the third (or so) day in a row. I was trying to hold out as long as I could but I think it’s time to turn on the heat and to put away my summer things. It’s time to let go and to move on. Fall is firmly here.

I’m getting sick, I know it. My throat has been swollen and raw since yesterday but I had been holding on to hope that it just got burned on some hot food I ate or something and would heal up in a day or two since I had no other symptoms (and even felt great just this morning). Since then it’s only gotten worse. Now I have an occasional cough and a persistent worry.

I really wish I hadn’t already taken a day off of work this week…