I got an early start this morning thanks to discomfort and chronic illness. I decided rather than letting it get the best of me, to keep me in bed or to keep me down, to let it bring out my best. I figured if I wasn’t going to get any more sleep anyway I might as well get a move on, right?

I think I may start my mornings this way for a long while. Just having an extra 30 minutes meant I was able to slow my pace and make room to eat early, sit with a heating pad, and enjoy my shower and those few small changes made a huge difference in the day. My body may be falling apart but emotionally I’m doing better than I have all week.

Part of the positive perspective might come from the act of fighting through every day rather than despite it. Getting up daily, beating what you thought was your best, and even retreating strategically when necessary all feel like wins and looking at life from that angle, lately, I’ve been rather triumphant.

So, while yesterday was a day of rest and processing, today is a day of doing what I can while I can. I’m back up to higher doses of steroids and taking full advantage of the positive side effects. I’m even adding a half a cup of coffee to boost concentration. I’m catching up at work and making progress on the end of the year blog post drafts I started on Tuesday. I’m looking forward to the evening when I will be back home with my wife and with, for the first time this week, nowhere else I have to be.


Published by

Lisa Marie Blair

Painfully aware. Profoundly afraid. Perpetually falling in and out of love with humanity. She/They.

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