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It’s the first official day back at work since the break and it’s turning out to be a lot harder to get through than I anticipated. The morning was fine, but I made sure to keep as close to my regular waking time and routine for most of the last two weeks.

No, today it is the afternoon that is exhausting me. I have been spoiled and gotten too used to freedom and control. My body and mind believe I should be at home resting or doing something more enjoyable or fulfilling rather than stressing or dreading the next 3 hours of my afternoon.

Still, I think I am coping well. I was needed more than I thought I would be and though that really cut into the time I hoped to spend on myself it felt good to be able to work. My health is improving and I can feel the difference in energy and confidence since I started working out and moving my body more. I feel sore but strong, tired but in a good way. Suddenly existing as a physical being is no longer a drag.


I’m home late from work, avoiding my to-do list and eating food I know is bad for me as a result. I don’t cope well when plans change it seems. I have to give myself permission to shut down here and there though. It’s the only way I can pull myself back up and begin again the next day. I have to be able to tell myself “Today this is ok, but tomorrow it is not.”

Published by

Lisa Marie Blair

Hello! I'm an aspiring writer fascinated by the human condition. You can find much of my work on my personal blog and at Zen and Pi. I also tweet as @lisamarieblair_ and share pictures and poetry on Instagram. Please consider signing up for my newsletter or supporting what I do by sharing a cup of virtual coffee. Thank you!

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