140//366

It’s infusion day, again. This one is a little more special. It’s the last of what they call the “loading doses”. After this I go on a more regular schedule of every eight weeks, as long as all the tests they did at the lab beforehand come out stable that is. We still have to see if the drug levels are where they should be and if my white blood cell counts and a few other things are where they should be.

I’m still dealing with some questionable and slowly worsening symptoms, but I’m in contact with my healthcare team and no alarm bells are going off yet. A few more tests have been ordered and I am being asked to hold off on lower the dosage of any of the medication I am currently taking which is a real bummer. I was looking forward to at least one less pill a day for a while.

The center is still a lot quieter than usual. I think non-essential procedures are still being postponed. It was nice to be to be out of the “broom closet” private infusion room and back into the open area with the big bright windows again but the nurse warned me that next time I may not be so lucky.

I know other people need these spaces, but it bothers me that because my infusions are shorter; I have to be shut into a windowless room and every time I bring it up t the staff I’m brushed off. I don’t think they understand that it’s depressing to be there no matter what your condition or how long your infusion takes. I should at least get to see the sun while I’m there.

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Lisa Marie Blair

Hello! I'm an aspiring writer fascinated by the human condition. You can find much of my work on my personal blog and at Zen and Pi. I also tweet as @lisamarieblair_ and share pictures and poetry on Instagram. Please consider signing up for my newsletter or supporting what I do by sharing a cup of virtual coffee. Thank you!

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