016 // Breadth and Breath

These past couple of weeks have been hard on me. The work week was more than I could handle and on top of new medications and new side effects plus returning fatigue and recurrent pain, there was nothing left of me for me.

It was harder to adjust from my light quarantine work schedule to full work days. I hadn’t done much past noon, or past Wednesday to be honest, in months, and suddenly I was being asked to stay later and do it all. I’m proud of myself for making it through with minimal mistakes or complaints.

I’m working on getting through tasks I find difficult, undesirable, or uncomfortable by just doing them and getting them over with. The longer I stall and the louder I complain I only succeed in prolonging the pain and proving to be a loathsome person to work with. No, it’s better to put on a smile, put one foot in front of the other, and focus on a job done well and quickly.

I think I succeeded in that goal at least, and now that the long weekend away has arrived, I can let the anxieties and grievances of the past five days go. I definitely deserve some “me time” but sadly there is very little to carve out today. So, I am staking a claim to these few and fleeting minutes to catch up on notes and to-dos from the past week and through the next.

There will be more time tomorrow and the day after that and in the weeks to come my calendar should lighten and give breadth and breath to life outside of work and rest.

016//366

Today was another long day but with the help of coffee and a good laugh or two with a few of my friends, I am making it through. I’ve even managed to surprise myself by how well organized and on top of things I have been. I’m almost beginning to think of myself as capable and, dare I say it, deserving of recognition.

As good as this all feels, I can tell I am nearing the limit of what my body and mind can handle, stress-wise. I’m pushing myself hard this week and if I’m not careful, I’ll cross the line and end up crashing out before I can make it to the weekend.

But I’m so close now I know I can’t give up! Just another day and a half and I’ll get a nice long 3-day weekend. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this…