Goals // Week 18: More of the Same

This week looks a lot like last week, and the week before, and the week before, and on and on back. The world around me was set to restart today, and I was planning on returning to work soon, but just over the weekend county officials announced they would extend our stay at home orders through May 8th at least. The weeks, it seems, will go on being the same for a half a month or so longer and I imagine when things change again they will change just as abruptly as they did nearly six weeks ago. So, this week will be more of the same and I will plan on more of the same for the next, only better, more.

This week I will:

 Seek better input in the hopes of better output. I’ve been thinking a lot about Austin Kleon’s ideas on input and output and trying to get to the bottom of my lack of ideas, my reluctance to start, my inability to finish a writing piece or project. I spend my time either trying (and mostly failing) to write or (when I can’t or I give up) I spend my time consuming junk from social media or TV. There is a third aspect I have been missing, quality input.

Allow time for doing nothing, or at least doing things that do not require a screen. Having a screen in front of me is not conducive to deep thinking. Screens create input sure, but they do not allow for new ideas to form easily. This week I’d like to do more analog free writing and exploring ideas that my own mind generates from the menagerie of concepts and stories that I encounter through the types of media I choose to consume and contemplate.

Finish one week each of courses The Science of Well-Being and Memoir and Personal Essay: Managing Your Relationship with the Reader. The Science of Well-Being is going fine except I don’t have access to a printer for the handouts and Memoir and Personal Essay is going better since I’ve let some of the pressure off and decided to do the assignments in a way that works for me. These are free courses and though it’s important to take them seriously enough to get something out of them, I don’t have to take it so seriously or pursue perfection to the point that I cannot move forward.

Finish reading Borne by Jeff VanderMeer. I’m very close to finishing and if I don’t make the same mistakes as last week, I can finish it quickly and finally move on to my ebook experiment. The key will be going to bed on time. I have an alarm on my phone for 8:15 PM that reminds me to get ready and go read until I fall asleep. Lately I’ve been dismissing it, this week I’m going to heed it. Bonus: Read some Essential Essays about Feminism.

Eat, sleep, move, and hydrate. Now that I now longer have to take so many pills with my meals, I’m not longer avoiding my meals. I’m going to bed earlier and I’m drinking more water too, but moving has been the hardest habit to build lately. Part of it is lack of motivation, but most of it is a body that can’t or won’t cooperate. New knee braces are on the way. I’m split my workout in half to alternate, and I may give yoga a try on days when weighted workout are too much.

Tell myself no. I indulge and spoil myself too much but will power is not an absolute recourse, it waxes and wanes, it must be strengthened through use the way any muscle does. I’d like to start by saying no to myself at least once a day. No to sleeping in. No to sugary snacks. No to putting it off until tomorrow. No to another drink. No to self-pity. No to giving up, to giving in, to wasting time or energy. Just once a day and when that gets a little easier, I can try twice.

This week I will not let my emotions rule me. Being isolated for weeks on end can leave one feeling lonely, angry, irritable, and afraid. Even with my wife here and the pets and plenty to do, I am quickly approaching my limit. I’m sensitive, on edge, and ready to blow up under the slightest provocation. I need to get outside. I need to mediate. I need to get it all out and write it all down. I need to reach out. I need to understand it normal, understandable, and completely preventable but I have to do the work on myself.


P.S. For a look at how I fared last week check out my updated post for Week 17

Photo by Jean-Philippe Delberghe on Unsplash