Goals // Week 19: Lowered Expectations in All Areas

This week got away from me before it even began. Weekdays and weekends are so alike it’s hard to tell where or when one ends and another begins. So, the goals are being set a little late, but with no less enthusiasm or resolve. I’ll need extra focus this week since it may be my last of total freedom.

Next Monday the meetings to decide how and when we come back to work begin and shortly after I’ll find out my schedule. I knew this day would come eventually, but I just thought I had more time, time for me, time away from the world, before all the expectations and obligation had to begin again.

So, this week I will:

 Clear out one bag of trash from the basement and one bag of waste from the yard. The basement had to be demoed years ago and the backyard has fallen into severe neglect. The work that needs to be done is so overwhelming that I never can find the will to start, but a little every week can have both done on a few months if I’m consistant.

Work on the post idea from last week. I’d like to try my hand at writing more timely, relevant, or relatable posts. My hope is that the realm of current events will provide a natural deadline and the pressure and panic I need to actually start and then to actually finish writing things. I can’t let (what little) momentum I built last month wane.

Read another Penguin Little Black Classics. I’ve been slacking so badly on my reading goal and there really is no excuse for it. These books are less than 60 pages each, short enough to finish in a week and certainly within a week. I should be able to finish two or three but the current state of the world requires lowered expectations in all areas.

Finish one week each of courses The Science of Well-Being and Memoir and Personal Essay: Managing Your Relationship with the Reader. This is the last week when things will be easy to do and I have to take full advantage of that. These courses are simple but they are a sort of practice for the much more serious learning I want to do later. Prove you can do it.

Keep working my way through the mess in the “creativity room”. Like all major cleaning projects it looks worse the moment you try to make it better but the more you plug away, the more you purge and organize the better it feels. Soon I’ll have a space I can create in again.

Eat, sleep, move, and hydrate. This si becoming a regular here on the goals list and will continue to be until I get it right. Moving is getting easier, so is sleeping. Eating is still a struggle and hydrating still lags near the bottom of my priority list. It’s getting better, slowly. Bonus: Meditate and take your medication.

This week I will not give myself too many choices. We all want to believe we have the willpower to resist our own desires and cravings but desire, hunger, and need all overwhelm and though we may fight at first inevitably we give in especially when we are contending with fear, uncertainty, depression, and loneliness. When I can do anything I do nothing. When I get hungy I choose the worst things to eat. I say I want to I can’t and when I have to I do my best work.


Photo by Damian Denis on Unsplash