Happy Saturday everyone! If you’re looking for some interesting things to read or watch while you kick back and relax, look no further, here are my favorite things from around the web this week:
1. “A wealth tax is a tax on accumulated fortunes, not on [the income of] people that are going out and working every day. It’s time for us to look at those fortunes and think about the kind of country we want to be. Do we think it’s more important to keep [the people who own] those fortunes from paying two cents on the dollar or to have the money to invest in an entire generation?” — Elizabeth Warren Interview // Rolling Stone
2. “On the way we talk about ‘the economy,’ as if it were a natural force, he elaborates: ‘People make it sound like it’s some monster living in the woods that you have to make sacrifices to, but the economy is just us. How am I doing? That’s how the economy is really doing.’” — Forgive Us Our Debts // Buzzfeed
3. “Death is like painting rather than like sculpture, because it’s seen from only one side. Monochrome—like the mausoleum-gray former Berlin Wall, which kids in West Berlin glamorized with graffiti. What I’m trying to do here.” —The Art of Dying // The New Yorker
4. “Our job was to step out of the closet and become warriors and demand equality. Now that they see us as human beings, I think it really brought a lot of people over to our side.” — How gay marriage won America // Vox
5. “Every three or four months or so she’d see something that she just couldn’t stand. Something that made her feel utterly disgusted and terrified. Sometimes it was cracks, but other times it was patterns of holes or dots, or scenes from underwater nature programmes showing things like groups of barnacles. She’d shake, pour with sweat and end up lying on the floor in tears.” — Why Do Holes Horrify Me? // The Good Men Project
6. “After a year of removing terrorism and child abuse from Google’s services, she suffered from anxiety and frequent panic attacks. She had trouble interacting with children without crying. A psychiatrist diagnosed her with post-traumatic stress disorder. She still struggles with it today.” — The Terror Queue // The Verge
7. “Building a counternarrative, then, necessitates not simply making visible ‘a problem,’ but beginning where most master narratives retreat: the margins. For Hartman and Dunbar, marginalia become the center: so-called minor figures become the key players, witnesses, and protagonists.” — A Black Counternarrative // Public Books
8. “When illusionists argue that what we experience as qualia are ‘nothing like’ our actual internal mental mechanisms, they are, in a sense, right. But they also seem to forget that everything we perceive about the outside world is a representation and not the thing-in-itself.” — Consciousness is Real // Aeon
9. “The winter is a season in waiting. Waiting for the sun to melt what’s frozen. To grow what is buried. To reveal life’s own determination for itself. And so we wait, in the tenebrous space. Not because the darkness is a punishment but because darkness is the promise of light.” — It’s Not The Dark’s Fault We’re Afraid // Free People Blog
Have you read, watched, written, or posted an interesting or inspiring thing this week? Has something on the internet made you feel strongly, think deeply, or see the world in a new light? If so, drop a link in the comments, we’d love to check it out!
Hello and happy Sunday! Thanks for stopping by for a bit of catching up over a delicious cup of coffee.
I’m up early this morning thanks to an early night last night. It was a big day yesterday and in order to get through it I had to use up every last drop of energy reserve I had. Today I feel as though I have almost nothing left, but it’s more in the body than the mind. Physically I don’t even want to move. Mentally I’m wide awake and ready for the day. It’s a frustrating predicament to be in but I’m hopeful the coffee will go a long way toward equalizing the two halves.
So, please, pull up a chair and grab yourself a cup. I’ve got a big strong batch of blond roast steeping in the French press and some silky smooth vanilla soy milk to pour over top. The gloomy weather be damned, we have sunshine in a cup and conversation to warm the soul. Let’s talk about last week!
“There’s nothing sweeter than a cup of bitter coffee.”
― Rian Aditia
If we were having coffee, I would tell you that last week was at least less stressful than the week before but beyond that there was much good too it. The new class I have been training has finally moved on from the classroom and testing portion of their probationary period and needing less and less from me. I’m already hearing rumors about another class bigger than the last two coming in January. I’m a little nervous about it but from here that feels so far away I simply told my boss I wasn’t ready to discuss it yet. I don’t need the additional anxiety right now.
Productivity-wise this week was a real roller coaster. Most mornings were hard. I’m still suffering with this ulcerative colitis flare and though I was certainly feeling better than the week before I still found it hard to make it in to work. I had to miss one day but I probably should have allowed myself more. It’s hard to accept that there is a lot I can’t do right now and hard to let go of guilty and worry about what others might think, but it’s getting easier. I’m one of the lucky ones though. My supervisors understand and my workplace policies allow me to take the time I need to get better without risking my livelihood.
I did receive some good news too though. My boss has decided to stay on through the end of the school year rather than leaving in the next few weeks. I wrote about him earlier in the week, about how great it has been to work for him and how rare those kinds of managers are. The fact that he’s staying means an easier transition over the summer rather than now.
I also I found out he’s sending me out on two major training trips in the next few months. A Crisis Prevention Training course in January and a major school transportation conference in March! I’m so excited to know that my workplace values me this much and so proud of myself for working hard and earning it.
Health-wise I felt very up and down too. I’m disappointed in how little the steroids are helping this time around and struggling to cope emotionally with the ways my work and home life are being impacted. Ulcerative colitis is a lonely disease, even when people care they can’t understand and understanding is what I desperately need. Luckily there are many support groups on Facebook and whenever I feel particularly sickly or down, I jump in there and read stories of others hurting in all the ways I am too. It helps to answer questions, offer support, and to vent when needed.
If we were having coffee, I would tell you that with the additional down time I had from both the lack of work compared to the week before and from my simple need to rest I was able to get a bit of reading and writing in.
Some weeks ago my wife—who understands my little interests and obsessions more than I realized—brought home a 1965 Modern Library College Edition of The Plague by Albert Camus she’d found in a thrift store. I read The Stranger a few years ago and loved it but so far The Plague is much more interesting. I love stories about plagues and I love stories that ask big questions and make big statements about the human condition. I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to get around to this fascinating little book.
On Monday I made my first list of “Bradbury prompts” and wrote the beginning of what I hope will be a blog post for Zen and Pi, eventually. It’s a very winding and convoluted mess at the moment and I can easily see it being split up into two of more posts to narrow the ideas. The point wasn’t to write a post though. The point was to just write. To write about something that, though it may begin with me, has broader implications. To that end the exercise was a success. I found some spark in me and was able to write nearly 100 words with passion. It’s been a long time since I felt that and knowing it was only the beginning is very exciting indeed.
If we were having coffee, I would tell you that this weekend has gone by too fast, but it has been a good one.
Friday night my wife and I went out for a little shopping and though we came home empty-handed and exhausted, we did get to try some awesome take out from a new chicken place up the street and, though winter and the accompanying holidays have never been my favorite time of year there is something nice about being out after sundown with all the other weary shoppers prepping for a day of gifts and giving. There is a kind of warmth and hope in it that you don’t feel in any other season.
Yesterday we woke up early for a long planned “Saturdate” together. We returned to our new favorite lunch place downtown and at some of the best sandwiches you can get anywhere. Afterward we headed to the theater district for a performance of Shakespear’s Twelfth Night, my favorite drama I read this year.
We’ve been to the theater district many times for ballet performances but this was our first play together. We had front row seats and with the circular stage and the fact that this particular play was a comedy we felt fully a part of the action. I think I have been fully converted. The ballets were nice, but they have nothing on the action of a lively play.
Next weekend we have more planned. I’m meeting my wife’s new coworkers for the first time over drinks Friday night and afterward heading to our favorite theater for dinner and Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker. Saturday we’re heading to brunch with some, though sadly, not all, of our married couple friends. I’m looking forward to it all, and the next Sunday of rest afterward too.
If we were having coffee, I would tell that before all of that I have to get through the work week. It’s the last before our long-awaited two weeks off for the holiday break so I know it will feel very long. I’m expecting a lot of cheer and a lot of frayed nerves too. We’re all beginning to feel burned out and we know there is a lot more winter and a whole lot more school year to go. Still, making it halfway is worth celebrating and two weeks of rest is certainly a gift worth looking forward to.
I have very little work planned and I’m giving myself space for rest between meetings, tasks, tests, and obligations. The less I have scheduled the easier it will be to stay home if and when I start feeling bad again.
I have a little more Christmas shopping to do and packages I have little hope of shipping before the deadline to arrive on time. This means that every day after work I’ll be out and around town wearing myself thin to get it done and then coming home to box and wrap it all before collapsing in bed. I don’t even have any Christmas plans yet so I supposed I should work on figuring that out too. I’d love to stay home again, just my wife and I, relaxing and eating and drinking the holiday away but I dare not risk offending family twice.
If we were having coffee, I would tell you that the weather is growing gloomier outside and I am growing more and more fatigued with it. The dishes are done, the meals are prepped, the christmas shopping list is updated and the purchases so far are sorted. The cat and dog have already drifted off to sleep next to me and I think it’s time I joined them.
I hope you had a good week. I hope you are feeling well and that you made some small progress or found some small good to be grateful for this week. I hope you aren’t stressing too much over the holiday season and that you get to enjoy a little time for you between all you have to give to others.
Happy Saturday everyone! If you’re looking for some interesting things to read or watch while you kick back and relax, look no further, here are my favorite things from around the web this week:
1. “Thunberg is 16 but looks 12. She usually wears her light brown hair pulled into two braids, parted in the middle. She has Asperger’s syndrome, which means she doesn’t operate on the same emotional register as many of the people she meets. She dislikes crowds; ignores small talk; and speaks in direct, uncomplicated sentences. She cannot be flattered or distracted. She is not impressed by other people’s celebrity, nor does she seem to have interest in her own growing fame. But these very qualities have helped make her a global sensation. Where others smile to cut the tension, Thunberg is withering. Where others speak the language of hope, Thunberg repeats the unassailable science: Oceans will rise. Cities will flood. Millions of people will suffer.” — TIME 2019 Person of the Year | Greta Thunberg
2. “Our long, sometimes tumultuous relationship with octopuses…has settled into something nearing reverence. We once called them ugly monsters. Now we plaster their likeness on our restaurants and tattoo it onto our arms. We once bludgeoned them with oars and brawled with them for sport. Now we’ve elevated octopuses to what in this secular era passes for gods: extraterrestrials.” — The Octopus from Outer Space // Seattle Met
3. “Half of employees don’t take paid time off due to high workloads or worries about job security, and 49% don’t take their allotted vacation days, yet nearly three-quarters agree that paid time off makes them feel more productive and healthier at work, and a quarter of employees would be willing to take a pay cut to get more of it. In other words: desire to do it more, guilt for doing it, guilt for not doing it, repeat. Hmm.” — Americans have a psychologically twisted relationship with paid time off // Fast Company
4. “Demonstrators hold placards during a protest against Chile’s government, in Santiago, Chile, on December 10, 2019. ” — Photos of the Week // The Atlantic
5. “Individuals commonly have to decide what they absolutely swear they will do and what they promise with equal sincerity they will never do. Whatever activity it covers, that covenant beckons to hypocrisy. And then cheating.” — Why Do People Cheat? (Because They Often Win) // Literary Hub
6. “We have words to describe the flu, or depression, or the common cold. We know the contours and symptoms of these illnesses. But when it comes to climate grief, the experience can be hard to define, and thus harder to understand and demonstrate. If climate sickness exists in the overlap of the physical and the emotional, we need words for those feelings, a dictionary of sorts that allows us to see patterns in the experiences of individual people. Fortunately, that’s exactly what a group of motley philosophers, artists, and doctors are currently working to devise. ” — Under the Weather // Believer Magazine
7. “Lately, I think I’m experiencing democracy grief. For anyone who was, like me, born after the civil rights movement finally made democracy in America real, liberal democracy has always been part of the climate, as easy to take for granted as clean air or the changing of the seasons. When I contemplate the sort of illiberal oligarchy that would await my children should Donald Trump win another term, the scale of the loss feels so vast that I can barely process it.” — Democracy Grief is Real // The New York Times
8. “I think it’s complicated. There seems to have developed in the last 20 years these public conceptions of sex work and trafficking as being dichotomous…and there were arguments there between the various groups about whether trading sex was something that could be done consensually or whether it was always coerced.” — Sex Work // Call Your Girlfriend
9. “For the most part, my questioners have already presupposed a fairly limited set of acceptable answers to the question of what’s worth doing—answers that generally bottom out in the material wellbeing of oneself and others. But those answers, innocuous as they might seem to the speaker, are philosophical answers to a philosophical question.” — Is there anything especially expert about being a philosopher? // Aeon
10. “Everybody is familiar with the feeling that things are not as they should be. That you are not successful enough, your relationships not satisfying enough. That you don’t have the things you crave. In this video we want to talk about one of the strongest predictors of how happy people are, how easily they make friends and how good they are at dealing with hardship. An antidote against dissatisfaction so to speak: Gratitude.” — An Antidote to Dissatisfaction // Kurzgesagt—In a Nutshell
Have you read, watched, written, or posted an interesting or inspiring thing this week? Has something on the internet made you feel strongly, think deeply, or see the world in a new light? If so, drop a link in the comments, we’d love to check it out!
Hello and happy Sunday! Thanks for stopping by for a bit of conversation and catching up over a cup of delicious coffee.
It’s late, I know. I stayed up too late binge-watching mindless T.V. and eating too many snacks. I normally don’t don’t do that on the weekends. I love to stay up but I know that I never deal very well with circadian disruptions in the morning. I don’t deal well with mornings in general! But the more sleep I get the better. And the truth is I’m not gettig any younger and though the mornings are getting harder all the time I am learning how valuable they really are. These late starts only mean less time in the light and already I can see the sun going down.
At least the air outside is still warm and I can have the windows open. I can hear the snow that is still melting from our last storm dripping off of rooftops and splashing in the streets. Autumn here is always more like winter but on the mild days I like to pretend spring has arrived early.
So, please, pull up a chair and grab yourself a cup. I have the usual: hot coffee from the French press but I have returned to soy milk from almond. I missed the silky texture it gave my coffee too much. Let’s talk about last week.
“You may think a morning coffee is the most enjoyable thing in the world, but it’s really just a habit.”
― Julien Smith, The Flinch
If we were having coffee, I would tell you that I know I have been going on and on here about how poorly I have been feeling. I thought about taking a break from this blog but it’s all I have right now that is both all mine and doesn’t ask too much from me. It’s all I have that is mine and I that I also have the energy for and even if it becomes a place for me to dump my complaints and my sadness, that is what it will have to be, for now.
So, I have been feeling poorly. My ulcerative colitis symptoms have been creeping on for a few weeks now but this week my symptoms have escalated quickly. I struggled at work, and worse, I struggled at home too. My greatest fear with this disease is impacted my wife and our home.
Of course, some impact can’t be helped when I’m exhausted and in pain and hating my own body for failing me so spectacularly but I’m trying to minimize it. I try to protect a little of what is good in me, to carry some small positivity and enthusiasm through the day to give to her when we get home so she isn’t left with a shell of a person, or worse, all of my misery.
The good news is that I have talked with the doctor and we have a plan. I’m back on steroids which is both awful and terrific at the same time. The side effects can be harsh over time and I have already done so many rounds in the last few years that the long-term effects will begin to pile but I know I will start feeling better soon. I’m going to set up an appointment to speak with my doctor over the phone in two weeks so we can work out what the next steps are. The hope is that I can’t get myself back into remission and stay there with the same maintenance medication I’ve been on, but I have my doubts.
If we were having coffee, I would tell you that work this week was hard and not just because of how sickly I’m feeling but because I’m teaching a class of new employees again. I love teaching so much but trying always to be a good teacher is hard. What I teach is small, but it is important and I strive to take is seriously. I learn from each person I teach. I learn a new way that people learn and a new way to help people learn in a way that works for them.
This week I learned how to better explain to people why perfectionism is the worst thing while learning and while testing. I always tell them this but I have never been able to explain the why of it. Why shouldn’t they try so hard? Why shouldn’t they strive to be perfect? But this week I tested a woman who was so enthusiastic and who was doing so well but then, midway through her test, she made a mistake. It was such an understandable mistake and of course she would be given the opportunity to try again, but all she could think about was the failure and I saw the life, the enthusiasm, drain right out of her.
I’ve seen it so many times but never this obviously. People make a mistake and they stop trying. They can’t see what I see, the potential. They can see that these facts and demonstrations we demand of them are not what we are really looking for. What we are looking for is the enthusiasm, the resilience, the strength to bounce back because this isn’t about them, it’s about the kids. So, I told the woman what I saw happening in her after her failure and then she saw it, and she changed it, and now I know how to tell people why perfect is the enemy of good.
If we were having coffee, I would tell you that this week will be hard too but most of my training is done and I have my meds now so I think it will at least be an easier week than the last. By midweek there should be some time for me to make my own. I’m looking forward to that. I’m looking forward to reading something and to beginning a new kind of writing journey.
I cannot get Ray Bradbury out of my mind. I’ve been hearing him say WORK RELAX DON’T THINK and I have also been rolling around a part of his process that might just be the jump start I need to get from where I am to where I want to be next. It’s nothing big. In fact it’s so small and so simple that I have serious doubts it will work but I have a weird feeling too that it might at least help. I’m going to make a list, a giant list of words and phrases that I want to expand into a body of work. Essay titles, perhaps, or poetry prompts, or maybe even, someday, book chapters.
This is the task I am setting myself for December to open a spiral notebook (this has to be done long hand) and just start listing whatever pops into my head and I will keep on listing and when it’s time to WORK, I will RELAX because I won’t have to THINK so hard. I’ll let the list and my subconscious lead me to myself and you.
If we were having coffee, I would tell you that it is very late now and though I have so much more I want to tell you, and to be honest I’m not very tired anyway, but if I want to have any hope of a decent start to the morning and the work week, I have to go now.
I hope you had a good week. I hope that wherever you are it still feels more like autumn than it does winter. I hope that your holiday shopping season is off to a good start and that the beginning of the end of the year found you in peace.
Hello and happy Sunday! Thanks for stopping by for a bit of conversation and catching up over a cup of delicious coffee.
I’ve been awake since very early this morning but I have not been up and moving about as long. I woke early with pain and laid awake in the dark doing my best to breathe deeply and to relax as much as I could until the pain passed. It did, but the ordeal ate up 2 hours of sleep of my day. I’m not allowing myself to dwell on that disappointment though. I have too much to do today and I know what little energy I have will not wait for me to wallow, no matter how much coffee I drink. I’m up. I’m okay, and it’s time to start the day.
So, please, pull up a chair and grab yourself a cup. It may be too cold out to open the windows but the sky is clear, and the sun is shining so we can turn up the heat, sit near the windows and pretend. I’ve got the French press out and some sweet vanilla almond milk though I’m half tempted to try using eggnog. Let’s talk about last week!
“So early it’s still almost dark out. I’m near the window with coffee, and the usual early morning stuff that passes for thought.”
― Charles Maurice de Talleyrand
If we were having coffee, I would tell you that last week was the shortest work week I’ve had in a long time. All weekend we’d been hearing the forecast grow more and more dire. By Monday morning we were hearing the possibility of 6 – 16 inches of snow overnight into Tuesday. All day my coworkers and I were buzzing with thoughts of a snow day away from work and an extra day added to our Thanksgiving vacation. I stayed up late after work waiting for the call I knew, I hoped, would come, and finally, it did. I went to bed early planning to get up early so I would have more snow day hours to enjoy.
I did wake up early but Tuesday I really began to feel poorly. I had been for a while, but that is how ulcerative colitis comes on, slowly and then all at once. I’d emailed my doctor already, and she ordered me to the lab for testing and to increase my medications back to where they were before our last visit. All my progress undone. With the snow there was no way I could get to the lab, so I spent the day resting and planning the rest of the week instead.
Wednesday I meant to go to work, but I didn’t have to go in and I figured why stress myself when I’m already feeling shaky and weak, you know? So I rested some more and planned a Thanksgiving meal for two while my wife spent the day with her mother. In the evening we shopped for our snacks, sweets, meat and sides, and plenty of drinks. For the night before a holiday and the day after a historical snow storm the stores were surprisingly calm and still well stocked. We found everything we needed and a whole lot, maybe too much, more.
If we were having coffee, I would tell you that my family was a bit scattered this year. We’re all feeling unwell, tired, stressed, and maybe a little down. We’ve been far away from each other, mentally and physically. This year we spent our holiday apart, each of us in our own homes, or with the families of our in-laws. I was sad about it but we needed it too. We needed the rest not the hustle and bustle, the expectation, the stress, the burden.
So, it was my wife and I alone and we made as special as wee could. We ate, and ate, and ate, and drank, and drank, and drank. We cooked lamb chops, mashed sweet potatoes, roasted carrots, and warmed some Colorado country bread. We watched Star Wars movies, and read books, and just enjoyed a day outside of time for a while. I had much to be thankful for.
The next day, armed with a list and a plan, we ventured out for Black Friday shopping. We left late to avoid the crowds, but it was still crazy out there. The shopping itself wasn’t so bad. There was plenty left on the shelves for everyone, but the lines were long that more than once we gave up items we’d found simply because we didn’t want to wait to purchase them. I did my best to keep in high spirits. We didn’t get all of our holiday shopping done but we made a significant dent and we might have found a few deals for ourselves that day too.
Since then I’ve been feeling worse and worse so I spent all of Saturday recouping from the holiday and all the shopping. I got the laundry done, and I got my Week’s End post up and my Currently // November post finished. I finished reading The Communist Manifesto by Karl Marx and watching episode 4 of Star Wars too. It was a good day.
Today was good too. I saw my family for brunch to make up for spending the holiday alone. My mom is fighting a cold so my sister made the eggs. My sister-in-law made muffins. My wife made the pancakes, and I made the bacon. We listened to music that was way too loud while we cooked and watched Disney shorts while we ate. I’ve missed them. I’ve missed all my family lately. I think in the new year I’m going to make more of an effort. I’m getting too old to let time pass between us this way.
If we were having coffee, I would tell you that In between the snow, and shopping, and all the eating, and drinking, the family visit, and the relaxing I made it to the lab for the tests my doctor ordered and I’m hoping by the end of the coming week I’ll have answers and a new plan. I don’t want to dwell too much on my health but right now my body won’t let me forget. It fills up every moment with either exhaustion, pain, or worry.
I’m doubly disappointed because it may be my own fault that my symptoms are flaring. I didn’t take my medication as consistently as I was supposed too and I did not try hard enough to keep my stress levels down. I worked too hard, and I let myself pretend too easily that I was normal. I’m not normal. This won’t ever go away, and I can’t let myself forget that.
Of course, there is a chance this isn’t my fault at all but I’m not sure whether that makes things better or worse. If it isn’t my fault, then I have no control. If it isn’t my fault, then my body continues to fail me and I continue to run out of treatment options.
It’s best not to think about it right now, but like I said, it’s terribly hard not to.
If we were having coffee, I would tell you that next week will no doubt be a hard one. There is another class of employees are starting which I will be training them and that means long hours and a lot of work for the foreseeable future, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I only have a few weeks left to go before it’s Christmas break anyway and that time will be so full of not just work but shopping and fun events that I know it will fly by.
I plan to talk to my coworkers and explain my need for scheduled breaks and evenly distributed work while I work on getting well again. I’m going to take real lunches, away from my desk. I’m going to ask for help, delegate, and, if I have to, if things get worse, I’ll check out all together and leave it to others to get done.
The time I have, the time I take for myself, I plan to use to read and to write, as usual. I’ve gotten through my last few books pretty quickly and I have a few more that I really want to finish a few more before the year ends. I’m also slowly plugging away at a couple of Zen and Pi drafts and there are posts to catch up on here. I bought a newspaper last week too and I’m eager to comb it for poetry finds. I need to create. I need to make something for me in order to cope with what is to come.
If we were having coffee, I would tell you that it’s late, much later than I expected it would be when we finally got to chat. The day got away from me and I know I won’t be able to keep my eyes open or the conversation going much longer. I have just enough energy left to prepare for tomorrow and that’s it.
I hope you had a good week. I hope that your holiday was filled with warmth and belonging. I hope you found much to be thankful for and that gratitude continues to be a concept you practice in your day to day life.
Happy Saturday everyone! If you’re looking for some interesting things to read or watch while you kick back and relax, look no further, here are my favorite things from around the web this week:
1. “I’m just a guy who’s had 21 years worth of anxiety fixes tried on him by doctors and cognitive behavioral therapists. I’d like to share with you which ones have worked for me over the next 30 days.” — 30 Practical Tactics to Decrease Your Anxiety (Intro) // CJ Chilvers
2. “Our energies are overwhelmingly directed toward material, scientific, and technical subjects and away from psychological and emotional ones. Much anxiety surrounds the question of how good the next generation will be at math; very little around their abilities at marriage or kindness. We devote inordinate hours to learning about tectonic plates and cloud formations, and relatively few fathoming shame and rage.” — Alain de Botton on Existential Maturity and What Emotional Intelligence Really Means // Brain Pickings
3. “Neurosymphony explores three distinct perspectives on the brain, using videos of the scans made freely available by the NICC. The video pairs the imagery with an excerpt from the album Chapel by the US electronic musician and music-cognition researcher Grace Leslie, in which she converts her brainwaves into music.” — Neurosymphony // Aeon
4. “Training is based on deep-dive EI activities, such as mindfulness and meditation, as well as empathy and compassion exercises to strengthen their relationship with guests. Employees are entrusted to make on-the-spot decisions to improve a client’s experience.” — New research suggests this is the best way to teach emotional intelligence // Fast Company
5. “There is an overflowing pipeline of “feel-good” stories traveling from local to national news, showcasing inspirational tales about adversity and how community members support each other in times of need. However, these pieces, seemingly easy to report out because of their surface-level levity, often eclipse overarching, unexplored narratives about labor, health care, education, and more, indicated by the lack of public or private support detailed in these stories themselves.” — Beware of the feel-good news story // Vox
6. In absolutely sickening news: “A bill to ban abortion introduced in the Ohio state legislature requires doctors to ‘reimplant an ectopic pregnancy’ into a woman’s uterus–a procedure that does not exist in medical science–or face charges of ‘abortion murder’.” — The Guardian
7. “A general view shows a statue among abandoned items and debris in an entry area for the canteen inside Hong Kong Polytechnic University on November 20, 2019.” — Photos of the Week // The Atlantic
8. “Maybe you’ve heard Biden talk about his boyhood stutter. A non-stutterer might not notice when he appears to get caught on words as an adult, because he usually maneuvers out of those moments quickly and expertly. But on other occasions, like that night in Detroit, Biden’s lingering stutter is hard to miss.” — What Joe Biden Can’t Bring Himself to Say // The Atlantic
9. “You might think that in everyday life, the things you see and hear influence what you feel, but it’s mostly the other way around: What you feel alters your sight and hearing.” — The Wisdom Your Body Knows // The New York Times
10. A re-aired episode of The Ezra Klein Show I missed from last year with Lilliana Mason. From the synopsis “…Mason offers one of the best primers I’ve read on how little it takes to activate a sense of group identity in human beings, and how far-reaching the cognitive and social implications are once that group identity takes hold.”
Have you read, watched, written, or posted an interesting or inspiring thing this week? Has something on the internet made you feel strongly, think deeply, or see the world in a new light? If so, drop a link in the comments, we’d love to check it out!
Hello and happy Sunday! Thanks for stopping by for a bit of conversation and catching up over a cup of delicious coffee.
I’m feeling a bit fatigued this morning but I’m fighting it tooth and nail. I have too much to do to let a little chronic illness get in my way. The house is a mess. My resume still isn’t finished. The laundry is piled up. I have meals to prep, dinners to plan, pets who need attention and later, if there is time enough left, I’d like to do something for myself before the workweek begins. There may not be enough coffee in the house to get me through but there might be time for a nap in the middle of it all if I can keep moving now while I have the energy.
So, please, pull up a chair and grab a cup. I’m still in love with my French press though I’m starting to feel guilty for neglecting the Moka pot. I have a fresh bag of blond grounds and a fresh carton of sweet almond milk too though I am starting to miss the silkier texture and the firmer foam that comes from soy milk.
Let’s talk about last week!
“Black as the devil, hot as hell, pure as an angel, sweet as love.”
― Charles Maurice de Talleyrand
If we were having coffee, I would tell you that last week felt like a particularly long one. Between the weather, the added workload, and the raw anticipation of a Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving break, December, Christmas, and the New Year is making the time before and in between drag.
Most of the week was warm enough but around midday Wednesday things started to turn. A frigid wind blew bringing rain that froze overnight into heavy snow and icy roads by Thursday morning. I had checked the weather the day before and expected the storm to blow out of the city early in the morning but unbeknownst to me, the forecast had changed. We saw snow through the rest of the morning and the early afternoon.
Cold weather makes for hard days when you work in a transportation centered industry. It makes for even longer days when you are transporting the world’s most precious resource, children. The district opted to delay the start of school though none of us who have to venture out in the elements understand exactly how this is supposed to help. To us, it just adds chaos and confusion.
I continue to take on more responsibility and to stress myself out, for now, because I’m looking at the possibility of promotion. Before the year is over, I expect things to calm down. They have too because I am wearing myself out. I’m feeling worse, physically, but it’s not so bad that I can’t function, but I know from experience that things move downhill very slowly and then all at once I’m in pain, too sick to work, and sliding into depression. I’m emailing the doctor today so we can hopefully start doing some tests and get this thing under control before I’m too bad off.
If we were having coffee, I would tell you even though this week was a busy one I was able to plenty of reading time during lunch hours and in between work tasks. Last Thursday I wrote that I’d “finished Behave: The Biology of Humans at Our Best and Worst by Robert M. Sapolsky on Sunday, The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller this morning, started Zen in the Art of Writing by Ray Bradbury, and made slow progress through Moral Letters to Lucilius: Volume 1 by Seneca nearly every day.”
I will probably finish Zen in the Art of Writing tonight or tomorrow and next, I have The Communist Manifesto by Karl Marx and then Walden and Civil Disobedience by Henry David Thoreau, maybe. Since finishing The Song of Achilles I’ve wanted to read more fiction, maybe more from Madeline Miller too?
My next goal is to get back to writing my old “what I learned from..” book reviews. I like sharing the things I like and I like documenting and tracking my tastes and what I gained from what and from who. This blog, after all, is supposed to be a sort of second brain, and friend, a place to think and to bounce thoughts, ideas, and feelings off of. I already started a few drafts, but the starting has never been my problem, finishing is where the challenge lies.
Other than reading there wasn’t a lot I accomplished. In the evenings when I came home from work I had only enough energy to cook meals, clean, and care for the pets before I started
If we were having coffee, I would tell you that Thanksgiving is fast approaching and I still have no idea how I am spending the holiday. I feel like no one has the energy for it this year. I know I don’t. I’ll ask around this week and see if any of my family is planning on cooking and would like me to stop by, but if not it’s okay. I quite like spending holidays just my wife and I. I’ve already floated the idea of a seafood feast rather than turkey and the usual sides.
I’ve got to get my black Friday shopping itinerary in order too. I want to get my Christmas shopping early and there are a few things I’m hoping to snag for myself and our home too. A new thermostat, a phone upgrade, a new Roku perhaps so I can watch Apple TV+. There are an overwhelming number of craft markets popping up over the next few weeks and Target’s gift sections are already beginning to look picked over and bare. I have to get going on this soon!
Yesterday my wife and I decided that getting new tattoos together sounds like a nice couple’s Christmas gift for one another. For the past few years, we’ve only been getting little things here and there and we both agree it’s time to start something big. She’s considering a back piece and I might get my knees done finally, or maybe my thighs, or my stomach, or, or, or…It’s hard to choose so this week I’m going to start settling on some ideas.
If we were having coffee, I would tell you that next week should be an easy one. I’m only working for three days, maybe only two depending on how much snow next Tuesday’s storm drops on us. I have some things scheduled but nothing major and knowing my boss and my coworkers it’ll be fun. The mood always lightens before a break.
The week after that will be hard though. I’m scheduled to teach another class of new employees and we have no idea yet how many there are going to be. I’ve been told anywhere from 4 to 20. That’s quite a spread. I’m looking forward to the overtime but not to the lost hours I normally give to reading and writing time.
I’ve been learning lately that not everyone can balance work and personal pursuits every day. Some days are going to be spent doing what has to be done and then there will be whole days where you get do whatever you want instead. I’m working on remembering this when I get stressed, frustrated or feel burnt out. I’m working on recognizing when my time is mine again and learning to spend it doing what will make me feel better in the long run and not what will feel good right now. I’ll really need to focus through the rest of the year if I want to begin 2020 with the right mindset.
If we were having coffee, I would tell you that the sun and the chilly air coming in through the west windows is only reminding me of how close tomorrow is and how much more I still have to do. It reminds me of just how tired I am too. If I want to get anything done and then get any rest, I guess I had better get going.
I hope you had a good week. I hope that you had plenty of time for yourself and you can rest easy today knowing you’ve accomplished what you set out to do. If you didn’t or if you can’t I hope you know every day is a new chance to try again.
Hello and happy Sunday! Thanks for stopping by for a bit of conversation and catching up over a hot cup of coffee.
I didn’t get up as early as I had hoped to this morning, I never do, but I have a lot more energy than I have in the last few days at least and I’m feeling especially motivated and accomplished. I’ve checked off most of my usual Sunday to-do item, and the day is only just half over. At this point I usually end up sitting down, getting distracted, and wasting the rest of the day but this Sunday I’m keeping out of the living room and keeping my task list in front of me. A relaxing Sunday never makes me feel very good, but a productive one is by far the best start to a new work week.
So, please, pull up a chair and grab a cup. The autumn air blowing in through the west windows is a bit crisp, but the sun is warm enough to warrant the open windows. I’ve fallen in love with my French press all over again since I remembered it can be used to make more than cold brew coffee. I’ve got a fresh bag of blond roast and a carton of sweet vanilla almond milk to go with it. Let’s talk about last week!
“Our culture runs on coffee and gasoline, the first often tasting like the second.”
― Edward Abbey
If we were having coffee, I would tell you last week was a pretty good week.
More mornings than not I was able to get up on time, get ready for quickly and smoothly, and make it on time to work. It may not sound like much but working on a school bus means working in an industry that is time focused and unforgiving of tardiness. You would think that in all the years I have been doing this I would have gotten used to the early mornings but I never have no matter what or how hard I try. Hitting at least 3 out of 5 mornings where I am not feeling frustrated, breaking down in tears, rushing around, or running late is a big deal for me.
The new class of employees I had been working was released midweek and are already out working with the kids all on their own so my workload was light. I hear I may have a new class coming in at the start of December, anywhere from 4 to 20 people they say. I’d prefer to keep it under 12. That is where I can do my best work and trust I have both give new people all the tools and time they need to do the job and judge their compatibility with children and with our culture as a district.
Until they start I plan to go on keeping my workload light too. I know now that for the two weeks or more I will be with them I won’t have time or energy left over for any of my personal passions and pursuits. I know now that the balance I need in my life can’t be found in the chopping up each day into parts for me and parts for others but in chopping up whole months. I know now I need to look at life on a larger time scale.
If we were having coffee, I would tell you I did get a lot of reading done this week though I still haven’t been able to finish Behave: The Biology of Humans at Our Best and Worstby Robert M. Sapolsky. If I can get my Sunday chores done in time I may try to make it through the last 50 pages or so. I’d really rather not take it to work with me one more day.
I spent most of my free time working on little blog things. Zen and Pi has a new introductory post up. I don’t think it is my best work, but it’s a start and it did feel really good to finally write, finish, and hit publish on something over there. Now that it’s both been purged of the old posts, and marred by a new post, I feel much more excited about writing more in-depth and challenging pieces over there. I’m ready to start doing something that feels more like real writing again.
This week I want to get another post up but I haven’t settled on a topic yet. That’s okay though, the editorial schedule is pretty loose for now with once a month being the bare minimum and once a week being the most I can hope for. My goals are the opposite of this place, 10% quantity and 90% quality.
If we were having coffee, I would tell you that this weekend was good but not in the way I had planned or hoped for it to be.
Friday night we went out for a much-needed evening of dinner and drinks with our “couples group”—our core group of 8 friends in which every member happens to be married to another member. I cannot express the importance of long-term couples having friends who are also in long-term (and healthy) relationships. It’s such a wonderful thing to be around people who are not just like you as an individual but like you in their choice to live their entire lives with another person as well.
Yesterday I meant to spend the day writing and working on my resume but I woke up feeling groggy from the night before. I struggled to stay focused or productive and by midday; I opted for a short nap thinking that when I woke up again I could start the day anew. Instead, I woke to a phone call from my brother asking if I would please step in to watch my niece and nephew because their scheduled babysitter needed to back out suddenly.
I love my niece and nephew and always enjoy visiting with them, but I do best with supervised visits since I’m not great with kids for long periods of time. I’m not good at being silly or seeing the world through a toddler’s eyes to know what they want. This is the main reason I choose to work with high schoolers at my day job. We had fun though, and I feel more confident that I can help my brother out when he needs me.
The kids only wore me out further though and even after they left I couldn’t muster the motivation to do anything but eat and watch some old favorites on Disney+.
If we were having coffee, I would tell you that this coming week should be just as relaxed as the last. I took Monday off to help a family member and I pushed the bulk of my tasks off until after midweek. I want to take advantage of the opportunity for free time right away, and to give myself a chance to take it easy for a few days. I’m still feeling the effects of work stress that has already passed.
Sadly, I believe that my ulcerative colitis is beginning to flare again. I have already filed to required paperwork in case I need to take leave from work and tomorrow I’ll shoot an email to my doctor and emotionally prepare myself for the appointments and tests she will probably require. I’m trying not to stress before I know what is going on, but it’s hard when I can still remember so clearly the pain and the misery I went through during my last flare.
The worst part is, I blame myself. I didn’t take care of myself when I should have the most. I didn’t eat right, rest well, or take my medications on time. I forget that I can’t be like other people and that I can’t worry about what other people think. I have to put myself first and ask for help, for more time, and for a break when I need it whether other people do or not.
If we were having coffee, I would tell you that the air is going colder now. I’ve got to stop drinking coffee if I want to have any chance of sleeping well tonight and I’ve got to finish getting my house in order if I want any hope of another one of those smooth mornings tomorrow.
I hope you had a good week. I hope you are feeling well and that wherever you are you are staying warm and I hope whatever stress you are feeling is the good kind and that whatever obstacles you face only encourage rather than deter you.
Hello and happy Sunday! Thanks for stopping by for a bit of conversation and a chance to catch up over a hot cup of coffee.
I’m up early this morning and starting the day with a big breakfast and at least half of my housework list. It helps me feel better about taking the midday to write if I’ve marked a few to-do items done by then. To be honest, I’m almost sad to be stuck inside. It’s such a beautiful day—We’re looking at a mild midday near 70 ahead of snow that’s forecasted to roll in over night, ugh!—but having the chance to clean, and write, and chat all day long sounds like the perfect way to spend a Sunday to me.
So, please, pull up a chair and grab a cup. I’ve just remembered that I actually own a French press and it can, in fact, be used to make other kinds of coffee besides cold brew. Let’s talk about last week!
“Coffee is a language in itself.”
― Jackie Chan
If we were having coffee, I would tell you that last week was just as hard as the week before. I finished up training the new class of employees that started last Tuesday and though it stressed me and scared me and considering I had very little idea what I was doing most of the time; I think it went very well.
I definitely feel like I’ve earned more respect of my coworkers and my bosses by taking on this task and executing it so well and for freeing up some of their time to work on more pressing matters. The truth is a year ago no one would have considered giving me such a big task, not for lack of competence but because it simply isn’t my job, but now that we are so short staffed there is just no one left with the time to do it.
Of course this actually works out in my favor for the long term. There is no better time to demonstrate that you are an asset to a workplace than when the workplace is in utter chaos. Every day I find a way to help out, and every day I make an impression and add to my resume. Soon there will be a chance for advancement and I mean to do everything I can to leave no room for any other option than me.
If we were having coffee, I would tell you that this weekend was just what I needed. I did nothing at all but what I wanted to do.
I took care of myself. I got back on my medication schedule. With all the work last week I found myself skipping meals and missing my medication alarms. I’m definitely feeling the consequences so much so in fact that tomorrow I’ll be sending off an email to my doctor and filling out this years FLMA request to prepare. I expect a round of lab tests and though I know I am not supposed to stress about the “what ifs” I can’t help worrying a little about both what could happen if my IBD flares up but the possibility that doing more at work is just too stressful for me to keep this disease in remission.
Yesterday I also took a leap and deleted all my old posts from my other blogging project, Zen and Pi. Many of you might know me from there but for those who don’t, Z&P is where my blogging dream first started, and died.
See, I meant to write about things there, and sometimes I did, but slowly I fell into a bad habit of getting too personal and mundane and that is why I made this place. I wanted somewhere to put the personal and mundane but then I never went back. I never lost the desire to write about things, but I didn’t know how to begin again with all that old personal and mundane still being hosted there. So, I deleted it all.
Of course, I didn’t really really delete it all and my hope is that much of it will be resurrected, revised, and reposted here where I also want to write about things, just different, more personal things instead. Anyway, if you want to tag along on the journey, you can check out the new space and follow.
If we were having coffee, I would tell you that this coming week should be a lot more relaxed than the last.
I was going to spend my time working on those National Blog Posting Month pieces I had drafted at the end of October and never got around to finishing or posting but if I’m honest trying to catch up or to begin such a rigorous editorial schedule this far into the month doesn’t sound like much fun. It doesn’t sound like the kind of writing I really want to do be doing right now. I already have a project and a passion of my own and I need to focus my time on that.
I’m still interested in writing about those ideas but I want to do it more slowly. I want to go deeper and do better than what I had planned at first. Rather than quantity over quality, or even the other way around, quality over quantity I’d like to learn to balance the two both here and over at Zen and Pi. I want to stop trying to write the way other people do. I want to stop writing for other people too. I want to follow my own interests and instincts.
I want to write more selfishly.
If we were having coffee, I would tell you that the sun has moved on to the west windows and I can feel the cold air moving in both from the north and west from the mountains bringing grey clouds and the threat of snow. It’s time for me toput away my screens and spend time with my little family before I’m forced to start another work week.
I hope you had a good week. I hope you were busy when you needed to be and that you were able to find peace when you didn’t. I hope you’re feeling well. I hope you are taking care of yourself when if don’t.
Hello and happy Sunday! Thanks for stopping by for a bit of conversation and a chance to catch up over a hot cup of coffee.
I woke up very late this morning needed even more sleep than the end of daylight savings time could provide. I wandered the house in exhaustion and malaise. I’m not feeling well and I feel bad for not feeling well. I’m recovering though and trying my best to do what I can. That means gathering up the energy and the will to shower, to take care of my pets, running a few errands. It was slow going but I was able to at least do that much. Now I plan to spend the rest of my evening here on the couch, typing, chatting, and sipping whatever fluids I can keep down.
So, please, pull up a chair and grab yourself a cup. You’re on your own to make coffee today I’m sorry to say. I’ve got packets of Starbucks instant iced coffee if you’re interested, or you can put the Moka pot on for a hot cup. Just Gatorade for me thanks.
Let’s talk about last week!
“Even bad coffee is better than no coffee at all.”
― David Lynch
If we were having coffee, I would tell you that last week wasn’t long but it was definitely grueling.
I started teaching a large class of employees all on my own and though it went as well as I could expect it was also very hard work. I had no time at all in my day for writing and when I got home I was too worn out for any of the things I enjoy.
There was one exception. One day of freedom that came on the heels of one of the biggest October snowstorms we’ve ever seen. On Tuesday the storm rolled in earlier than expected but school had already been called on a regular schedule and once the powers that be decide what to do they cannot change their minds. We got the kids to school but the snow piled up faster than anyone expected. By noon, the powers that be made a new choice and we began the chaotic process of releasing the kids early and closing the district early.
The worst of it blew in overnight into Wednesday and the roads were deemed impossible and we all got a free day outside of time to stay home, warm and cozy.
This coming week I’ll have more of the same but it will get easier and easier as the class completes all the expected training items. Soon I’ll have more time to myself and by the following Monday, I expect to be back to a schedule that is much more familiar to me.
I’m doing all of this because pretty soon there will be a new staff position posted with a description that includes a lot of things I’d already been doing and new things too like training new classes. My (and my bosses) hope is that when the position is available and I will have the best chance of getting it based on experience.
If we were having coffee, I would tell you that this weekend was one of the worst I’ve ever had.
Friday night was great, actually. I meant to spend it out of the house but after getting home early and finally sitting down for a bit, I lost all my motivation to leave. My wife and I ordered Vietnamese for dinner and drank more than a few glasses of wine. We stayed up late watching creepy movies and enjoying each other’s company. It was a much-needed break from all the stress and the tediosity of the week.
I woke up at a decent time on Saturday. I felt good, focused, motivated, even excited…for a while. I got up to write and while typing away on my laptop my wife called me from another room. I shut the screen and went to see what she needed. When I got back and opened the screen again I got a dreaded message, “chrome os is missing or damaged”.
I spent the rest of the morning trying to fix it but nothing worked and by midday, my stomach was making some pretty concerning noises. I don’t want to get too detailed but I will say the rest of that evening and well into the night was spent in and out of the bathroom. My guess is something in the Vietnamese food was bad. I blame the egg rolls that came at room temperature and tasted a little funny.
Today I’m slightly better but I’m exhausted. My stomach is still sensitive and I haven’t been able to eat or drink much since midday yesterday but I managed to gather enough energy to go get a new laptop. I’m not sure I like it more than the last, but I couldn’t risk buying the same one again and facing the same system failure twice.
If we were having coffee, I would tell you that I made no progress at all on any of the goals I set up for myself this past week.
I had a whole bunch of posts ideas for National Blog Posting Month and a few of them are half-written too, but with work and this sickness, I haven’t gotten any of them up. I failed before I even got a chance to start. I want to try again but I’m not sure how to start now that the beginning is gone. Maybe these challenges aren’t for me. I never can seem to get through them.
My other goals fell by the wayside too. I didn’t do any reading and I never got into the creativity room and I never made anything with my hands.
I hope this coming week will be different. I hope I can find the time and when I do I hope the passion and the inspiration are there to meet me too.
If we were having coffee, I would tell you that I’m tired. It’s late and I’m still fighting through this gastrointestinal upset and if I want to have any hope of making it in to work tomorrow I have to get some rest now.
I hope you had a good week. I hope you are feeling well and that your week was a lot more relaxed than mine was. I hope something went right for a change and that you found some peace, some clarity, some sense of direction.
Until next time.
Written for the #WeekendCoffeeShare link-up hosted by Eclectic Alli.
by Lilliana Mason
Lisa Marie Blair 