244 // That Old Enthusiasm

We’re seeing a small drop in temperatures and we’re promised the trend will last through the end of the week. Downtime is decreased today as I’m taking on a longer route for the afternoon and spent the morning back in the dentist’s chair receiving a temporary crown.

The procedure went well, better than the root canal for sure though still not as “painless” as they try to convince you it will be. My bite is no more comfortable and my anxiety no more eased, though I’m still grateful for the ability and opportunity to save my teeth. There are a few more that need work, but the fire is out and pain no longer dominates my day.

I’m feeling a bit better about the rising Covid threat. The mask mandate has been reinstated for all of our students and staff, and I’m relieved. It’s nice to work for a district that believes in science and takes the health of the community it serves seriously. It’s less stressful for someone like me whose immune system is not only overactive but kept cooled by medication with a myriad of side effects. My vulnerability to Covid is in question, but I’m at ease in the workplace.

Writing is slow going, obviously, but I assure you a paragraph or two was written. I’m proud of myself and I’m determined to keep the ideas flowing and the momentum going. My pocket notebook is close at hand and the pages are getting filled a few at a time. Every article I read, every conversation I have, every song and silence I hear is a spark.

Something is changing. I’m finding a little of that old enthusiasm I used to feel. I’m coming into the prime of a new age. I can feel it.

244 // Find Me At My Best

I’ve always been weird in that, where other people struggle and suffer through the first day of the week, Mondays typically find me at my best.

I’ve usually prepared, both emotionally and practically, for the start of the week. I spend much of Sunday worrying and walking through the day’s tasks, expectations, and possibilities. Mondays then end up being the least anxiety inducing day of the week for me because there hasn’t yet been enough time for chance, chaos, or catastrophe to work its way between my hopes and intentions, yet.

All this to say that, despite the hectic schedule and the overflowing list of things to do, today was actually a good day.

We had a class of new employees start today and that means for the next two weeks or so I will be in charge of every aspect of these people’s work life and training. It’s a lot of pressure and a lot of responsibility. I love my job. I love teaching and I love affecting change not just in the way these people approach their job and the children we serve but I love knowing there is a small chance they will take the lessons and perspectives I bring to them into their lives and relationships beyond the workplace.

Still, I expect to be fully burned out and dragging my feet in pessimism and impatience by this time next week.

Today I head home. The visit has been wonderful, and though I feel very different and very out of place here, I’m a little sad to go. I wish I could have all of my family with me back home. I wish I could see them all whenever I wanted and that time and money were never any obstacle.

Siblings are highly underrated and deserve more praise, more love, more forgiveness, and more work on our part to keep them close. Half the strife between any two siblings is mostly the parent’s fault, or at least cause, anyway.


Airport security was much easier this time and I am so happy to have upgraded for a window seat. The clouds are beautiful from here and flying through them is just incredible. It’ll be just a few hours before I am home and to be honest all I can think about is when I can get on a plane again! I don’t understand how people can be so humdrum about it. To be so high up traveling at 100s of miles per hour is damn near magical to me.

But, I’m happy to be back on the ground and back with my wife, back at home where it’s safe.