We know the science of gender is complicated and ever changing. Wherever you go on the internet, there are studies and anecdotes to define and debate the presentation of identification and expression of a person’s gender, but around the concept of biological sex there only ever seems to be potent feelings, hard lines, and outdated information.
This episode of the TED Radio Hour was the most interesting, informative, and open-minded introduction to the spectrum, yes, spectrum, of the ways a person’s biological sex can exist outside of the old male/female dichotomy.
We worked on a few wedding things tofay the most significant of which is that I may have finally figured out what I am wearing.
It’s hard being a genderqueer bride, you know? I don’t want to wear a dress but I still wantwto feel like a bride. I want to wear a suit that has a slightly feminine feel to it. I found a floral print suit I wanted, but it was out of stock. Then I thought about wearing pink but then we would have to change the bridesmaid’s dresses.
But then it occurred to me that, as a bride, I should simply wear white! I found a white suit but I’m still feeling anxious about it. The next step is measurement and alterations, and as a genderqueer woman who feels most comfortable wearing masculine coded clothing but who has a body that is curvy and feminine, trying to reconcile what I want to wear, and what I can wear can be frustrating and humiliating.
I wish the world wasn’t so segregated by gender. I wish that it was easier to find women’s clothes that fit men’s bodies, and men’s clothes that fit women’s bodies. I wish there was no such thing as men’s and women’s clothing at all, and that we could all find the clothes we want to wear in sizes that fit us comfortably. I wish I could be seen as a bride even though I won’t be wearing a dress, and I wish there were more places for me to go where I would be treated as normal and beautiful in my own right.