Tag: September 2019

I’m struggling to send an email, just one email. I’ve written it and rewritten. I’ve had it proofread by two different people and then rewrote it again.

It’s hard to explain what you do to other people, and harder still to explain it to your bosses. They decide if what you do is right, or enough, or worth paying a person to do at all. It’s hard to meet expectation that weren’t spelled out explicitly and it’s hard to know what people want when they never told you they wanted anything.

I’m probably way over thinking this.

I took the day off today and I feel awful about it. See, the day wasn’t meant to be for me alone. It was meant to be spent with someone else but she ended up having to go to work. Now I feel guilty for still staying home when I could have, should have, gone in and avoided all this bad headspace.

And, what am I doing with my time? Nothing productive so far. The internet is a massive distraction and I am considering turning all theses screens off and going to read on the couch for a few hours instead. I figure that’s a much better use of my time than checking social media or tweaking the look of my blog, yeah?

Of course, what I should be doing is writing, but, of course, it’s the last thing I can get my mind to focus on. I’ve done the dishes, taken a nap, caught up on the news, I even pulled weeds!, just to keep from sitting in this chair and doing the work. Oh well, it felt good to be alone, to enjoy the silence, and that isn’t something I have always been able to do.

It’s hot out today, like really, really hot. Today Denver hit 100 degrees in September for the first time, ever! Considering the what it felt like outside we were able to keep the house relatively cool, but we are still miserable. We won’t be sleeping until late tonight I’m sure.

We spent the afternoon lunching at my favorite place for my wife’s birthday with her family. I didn’t pick the place; I was just pleasantly surprised to hear where we were going.

Other than that I got caught up on some words here and worked out how I plan to post the drafts I missed getting out on time because of my trip. I’m going to finish them and progress on a few other pieces and projects I have been hoping to start. The rest of the week will be busy to make up for the time I took off but I don’t care. It was worth the trip and the rest.

Today I head home. The visit has been wonderful, and though I feel very different and very out of place here, I’m a little sad to go. I wish I could have all of my family with me back home. I wish I could see them all whenever I wanted and that time and money were never any obstacle.

Siblings are highly underrated and deserve more praise, more love, more forgiveness, and more work on our part to keep them close. Half the strife between any two siblings is mostly the parent’s fault, or at least cause, anyway.

Airport security was much easier this time and I am so happy to have upgraded for a window seat. The clouds are beautiful from here and flying through them is just incredible. It’ll be just a few hours before I am home and to be honest all I can think about is when I can get on a plane again! I don’t understand how people can be so humdrum about it. To be so high up traveling at 100s of miles per hour is damn near magical to me.

But, I’m happy to be back on the ground and back with my wife, back at home where it’s safe.