I didn’t let myself hope for a snow day but damn do I wish we had gotten it. Instead we’re on a “delayed schedule” this morning so while we’re picking up the kids later we had to be at work 20 minutes early. That means freezing and fighting with the snow for longer hours filled with more risk. I wish the powers that be understood that. Regular schedule or close the whole district down, please!
We got hit bad but most of it has melted by now. Tomorrow we’re supposed to get more of the same—cold, snow, icy roads, and dangerous traffic—but once again I have no hope for a snow day. The storm won’t be in until midmorning they say and by then we’ll be out on the road with the kids, and by afternoon, when it’s forecasted to be at it’s worst, we’ll be fighting nature to get them back home.
The weather, and the new class of employees I’m scheduled to teach, has me wound up tight. I’ve never done this before and there’s a chance I’ll be doing it all on my own.I’m freaking out. I’m afraid to fail. I’m afraid to say the wrong thing, to give the wrong answer, and, worst of all, to have no answer to give at all.
This week is starting off on a very stressful note. Winter is rearing its ugly head, promising days of freezing temperatures, snow, and slick roads. On top of dealing with the weather, both physically and emotionally, I have the busiest work schedule ahead me than I’ve had all year! That means I have very little time for myself and it means I have to be mindful of how I spend what little time I get. This week I want to:
Make it into work every day this week. This is pretty basic but with 3 days of snow and more of below freezing temperatures, plus the cold, the flu, the upper respiratory infections, and strep throat floating around I’m worried about ruining this opportunity for more overtime than I have been offered ever. I need the hours. I need to take care of myself and get here every day.
Take all of my medication every day, on time. Since the URI I had a few weeks ago I have been struggling to get back on a steady meal and medication schedule. I have pills that have to be taken 12 hours apart, pills that have to be taken 30 minutes prior to meals, pills that have to be taken with meals, etc. It’s hard to keep straight and easy to forget.
Get a Goodwill donation box filled. This past weekend we moved some furniture around, new furniture in, and old furniture out. By the end, we had more things than we had space for and a large bag started of old things to give away. There is still a long way to go but I do not want to procrastinate another week (or year!) on getting this room cleaned out.
Write five posts for NaBloPoMo in advance. This one is going to be hard without long blocks of time to devote to writing but a 15-minute break here, an hour lunch there, and writing while the T.V. is on should get me most of the way there. I don’t want to fail another blogging challenge and I don’t want to let myself down.
Read 50 pages, total, of Behave: The Biology of Humans at Our Best and Worst by Robert M. Sapolsky. That’s just ten pages a night, that’s all I’m asking of myself. Of course, these aren’t easy pages and after a long day keep my eyes open longer than a couple of paragraphs is almost impossible, but 30 minutes before bed every night should get me there. I’ll even settle for five pages. I’ll settle for any number over zero!
Finish one week of one Coursera course. This one is pretty low on my priority list this week. I just don’t won’t have the time with work, writing, and reading, but if I do find myself with ahead of schedule (or enjoying a snow day!) then I will see what I can do.
Share one small thing you didn’t make on a screen. Work is stressful and on some level so are the other things I love since I carry so much expectation of myself, but making cut up and blackout poems and collages are the only things I do that feel truly relaxing. I need to make time for them.
This week I will just do my best and no matter what that looks like at the week’s end it will (have to) be enough. The trick will be keeping a positive outlook, doing the work expected of me, and keeping always in the back of my mind these little goals and brining them shapely into focus whenever I have even a minute of my own.
P.S. For a look at how I fared last week check out my updated post for Week 43.
Today was all the weekend that I had to myself and even in there was so much that I had to do. I hate having to do things, but, I also love all the parts of my life that make having to do things necessary. My home, my family, my work, my friends, my community, being alive, these are reasons to have to do things.
The snow is falling already but nothing is sticking so I’m not hoping for a snow day. Tomorrow will be miserable, and so will the rest of the week according to the forecast, I’ve resigned myself to that reality.
Hello and happy Sunday! Thanks for stopping by for a bit of conversation and a chance to catch up over a hot cup of coffee.
It’s later in the day than I hoped it would be when we met but after a late night last night, hours of bad sleep, and a delayed start mean I’m speeding through my chores and preparations for the week. I’ve been on my feet cleaning, meal prepping, doing the laundry, and helping my wife complete a furniture rearrangement project we’ve been avoiding for months. It’s been rough, but I made considerable progress on my to-do list and as a reward (and to give my aching bones a much-needed rest) I’m allowing a short break to slow down and enjoy the last of my weekend.
Please, pull up a chair and grab yourself a cup. The winter weather we’re forecasted to have for the next 4 or 5 days has arrived. Snow has been falling since early this morning and we’ve not gotten above freezing temperatures so the Moka pot has been on an off the stove brewing hot cups all day. I have a fresh bag of blond roast and a brand new carton of sweet vanilla almond milk too. Let’s talk about last week!
“Coffee is a way of stealing time that should by rights belong to your older self.”
― Terry Pratchett, Thud!
If we were having coffee, I would tell you that last week was a painfully long one! Nothing particularly bad happened and there was no more stress in it than any other average week, but it was the first one back after fall break and time always drags when you have to return to a normal schedule. Those who opted to work had to get used to the rest coming back, and those who opted not to had to get used to coming in at all again.
I’d done a little of both and so took longer than most to adjust. I struggled to get up in the morning, to make it in on time, and to maintain, or even pretend to have, a positive attitude. Thank god for my coworkers who are also my friends, and for bosses who allow overtime so that the long days feel worth the sacrifice of time.
I accomplished very little of the personal goals I laid out at the beginning of the week. I didn’t read at all. I hardly wrote anything. I made no progress on the free courses I’m taking, and I didn’t spend any time in the “creativity room”. I was tired and lacked the willpower to self-start.
If we were having coffee, I would tell you that this weekend was a busy one too.
Friday night we took my cousin (who is also my wife’s best friend) out for birthday drinks and dinner since we wouldn’t be able to make it to her trivia night that Saturday. We had a blast. It was a new restaurant for my cousin and me (my wife had been there before) and not only was the food delicious but the customer service was well beyond what you get at most places. Apparently, you’re even allowed to bring your dog! We’ve already decided to go back very soon for brunch.
We spent all of Saturday preparing for our friend’s Halloween party last night. We went as Bob and Linda from Bob’s Burgers. We had a great time, the same as last year. I haven’t gotten to see all my close friends in the same room in a while and I desperately needed it. We all used to work in the same place and that made syncing our schedules and making time to see each other easy but at least half of us have left and finding time to get out that works for the whole group is depressingly hard.
If we were having coffee, I would tell you that next week is going to be really busy.
My boss has asked me and another coworker to teach a large class of new employees starting on Tuesday. This is a bigger class than we have had in a long time and rather than just teaching the hands-on equipment portion we will teach the policy power point too. I know I can do it—I’ve done it before—but speaking in front of that many people makes me incredibly nervous. My stomach has been in knots since I found out.
So far it looks like my days are going to begin before sunrise and I won’t see my first real break until after noon. Half of that time I’ll be indoors and the other half I’ll be outside. After lunch, I’ll probably go back to training inside but if I’m lucky, my boss might alter the schedule and I’ll get to head home early one or two afternoons. I’m expecting to work well into overtime, to be exhausted, and to be quite proud of myself by next weekend.
It’s going to be hard when we start training on the buses. The weather forecast is looking pretty bleak. We have snow predicted through Wednesday and nothing above 35 degrees until next weekend. On cold days like that, it just doesn’t matter how many layers I wear. Once I step outside the chill reaches right down to my bones and I never really get warm again until I get back home and take a long hot shower.
We have just 144 more days to go until Spring is here again.
If we were having coffee, I would tell you that even though next week will be busy, I’m going to make as much time for the things I love as I can. I gave up everything to everyone else last week and failed to make myself a priority. That cannot continue.
My little hobbies and passions might not be much but they matter to me. These things I do keep me sane, they keep me happy; they make me feel like there is still a part of me and some small sliver of my life that belongs to me. They are the things I choose.
This week, I’d like to make it halfway through a week of videos and materials on Coursera and through at least 10 pages of reading every night before bed. I want to get at least 5 of my NaBloPoMo posts written before the new month begins and to spend as little as 30 minutes making something with my hands. If I can do those few small things, I’ll be happy. Of course, while that doesn’t sound like much to ask of myself now, time does have a way of getting away from me and these things have a way of slipping my mind.
If we were having coffee, I would tell you that the sky outside has grown dark and the savory smells from the kitchen are reminding me that the beginning of the end of the weekend is here. It’s time for me to put away my screens and spend the last of the time that belongs to me with my little family.
I hope you had a good week. I hope you made progress and made time for yourself. I hope you’ve stayed warm and that, wherever you are, the weather to come won’t be too miserable. I hope you get to do some spooky Halloween things before the month is over and that November will find you energized and inspired.
My stomach has been in knots all morning. I’m excited, and I’m also incredibly nervous. I always am before we see our friend, especially when there will be alcohol involved, which is every time we hang out with our friends. Social anxiety (no not just regular nervous but chest hurting, I think I’m going to throw up, maybe I should just stay home forever anxiety in advance of seeing some of my very best friends!) is killing me.
I’m trying to focus on the good. I know that I am well liked and even missed. I know people are excited to see me and that any social faux pas I commit and later agonize will probably go unnoticed by others.
The point is, I’m excited. The point is, this means a lot to me, these people mean a lot to me and I hope to have a good time.
The sun is out, and it’s finally Friday! I feel like nothing at all can go wrong.
I like my job the best on Fridays because hardly anyone sticks around in the middle of the day since preschool isn’t running. It’s quiet and sometimes I even treat myself and order delivery for lunch. Today’s treat was a delicious “holy aioli” burger and a side of sweet potato fries from Dog Haus.
Tonight we’re taking my cousin out for an early birthday dinner and tomorrow we have to quit procrastinating and get our costumes ready for our friends Halloween party. I’m both looking forward to it all and dreading it too. I want to be the kind of person who has a social life but my body can’t keep up. I’m already exhausted just thinking about it.
“So how might one learn to love another without reducing the other to recognizability, without fixing the other to a single unchangeable name?
Or should it go the other way around: must the lover consent to being forever misrecognized? Is allowing oneself to be transfixed a fundamental part of loving and being loved?”
It’s a frigid and snowy day today, the exact kind of day I hate. Of course the one day of the week winter decides to show up is the one where I have the busiest schedule and, of course, the very people who where supposed to help me stayed home. It might be a good thing though. I’ve always preferred the solo projects.
I’m just being crabby because I haven’t been able to do anything much for me and I know that this weekend will be busy too and now that I think about it next Monday feels awfully close already. The days are growing drab and mundane and nothing feels all that important or worth the effort. Everything is exhausting. Everything is at best an irritation and at worst a waste.
Let the seasonal depression begin.
Today is another easy day, and my mood is much improved from yesterday. It’s definitely a better day than yesterday. Time is moving along a lot faster and I’m much more inclined to speak to and even hold conversations with my coworkers. I’m not being as productive as I would like though.
But, there is a tradeoff between interacting with other people and working toward my goals. I can’t do both at once, but both are essential to my well being so how do I choose? I swing wildly between wanting to do one or the other and often regret whichever I end up doing. Perhaps that’s because I don’t know how to end one and switch to the other. I spend all day with others or alone, never half-and-half, never even a 90/10 split. It’s always all or the other.
Balance, boundaries, and having the courage to say no are all skills I have to strengthen.
Make it into work every day this week. This is pretty basic but with 3 days of snow and more of below freezing temperatures, plus the cold, the flu, the upper respiratory infections, and strep throat floating around I’m worried about ruining this opportunity for more overtime than I have been offered ever. I need the hours. I need to take care of myself and get here every day. 
Lisa Marie Blair 