Statuses

073 // Digging Ourselves Out

So, the city has dug itself out and tomorrow we’re all heading back to work and to ordinary life. Half of me is sad that our bomb cycling vacation has to end, half of me is a little excited to see my coworkers and my students. I want to hear how everyone fared and are the city for myself.

Being snowed in for two days sounds nice in theory and in practice it really wasn’t too bad, but I know if it had gone on any longer than that and I would have started to go a little stir crazy.

We actually weren’t snowed in so much as it just took forever to get out. The sun was out and the day warmed enough to turn the snow drifts to slush and the rest to pooled water. The snow was heavy and hard to move and by the time I got my cold and sore body back into the house I needed a hot shower, a heating pad, and a nap. There was no time left to get out in the world after that.

I did manage to get more of my medical frustrations sorted out and tomorrow I’ll start a new medication to treat my ulcerative colitis. I brought up the yoga mat, the pull-up bar, and the weights from the basement so I can finally start working out. I also enrolled in a new online course, Learning How to Learn, and finished week 2 of Social Norms, Social Change II. So, the day wasn’t completely wasted.

I want to keep the same momentum going tomorrow. I’m looking forward to an early start, a light workload, and a good writing day.

P.S. I want to wish you all a very happy Pi Day. Pi Day is one of my very favorite holidays but, sadly, the winter storm prevented me from acquiring the necessary ingredients and I was unable to bake my own. Next year I plan to plan much more in advance.

These entries are inspired by Thord D. Hedengren

072 // Tomorrow Has Been Canceled, Again

The storm was everything they predicted it would be. The rain started very early in the morning while it was still dark. It wasn’t a hard rain, more of a drizzle, but slowly as the morning wore on it froze as it fell and by the time I was making my second cup of coffee the big flakes were blowing.

By lunch, I started to worry. The wind was whipping around the house hard and the snow was piling up around the house and sticking to all the windows. I refreshed the news and realized that conditions were deteriorating rapidly all over the city. Businesses were without power, all the highways closed, the airport canceled every flight in or out, and our Governor declared an emergency.

It was bad, but so far we have fared well. We hunkered down and spent the day watching movies the best we could while we had internet and napping or reading when we didn’t. We waited all day for the power to go out but, thankfully, we were among the lucky ones and it never did.

A few hours ago the chaos outside finally calmed. We watched the news anxiously all afternoon hoping to see that we would get another snow day tomorrow, but it wasn’t until I had just given up and resigned myself to having to venture out and dig a path to the car that they announced it. Tomorrow has been canceled once again. 

Maybe I’ll try to get more writing done this time.

https://twitter.com/lisamarieblair_/status/1106004430300811270

These entries are inspired by Thord D. Hedengren

071 // Tomorrow Has Been Canceled

It was 60 degrees outside today. The sun was shining and with the time change it finally felt like Spring was on the way, and then the weather reports for tomorrow poured in and hour by hour it got worse and worse. Today was Spring, and tomorrow the schools are already closed for a snow day. 

The whole city is shutting down, and many more across the state too. Tomorrow has been canceled so I’ll be staying in again, which means I’m staying up tonight, because, well, I don’t want to waste a second of this gift.

I’ll watch the storm roll in. I’m waiting for the rain now so I can fall asleep with the sound against my window. Tomorrow I’ll set up near the big living room window and count the inches as they accumulate.

I learned today that the lower the pressure of a storm, the stronger the storm is, and we will see some of the lowest pressure readings in the state’s history. A rare treat it seems. The storm will be “roughly equivalent to a Category 2 hurricane” only with snow instead of rain.

I’m actually a little scared, but kind of excited too, and very relieved that I’ll get to ride it out from inside.

These entries are inspired by Thord D. Hedengren

070 // Staying In

Went to bed last night feeling like a cold was coming on. I had a sore throat, I felt pressure in my sinuses and ears, my breathing was difficult, and I had a cough. So, in the morning I made the decision to stay in for plenty of rest and fluids, just in case.

Well, of course I feel all better now and I’m regarding my own body suspiciously. Is it possible I made it all up without knowing? Could I have been in so desperate a need for a mental day that my body manufactured a sickness all on it own to keep me home? It might sound crazy but it’s honestly more likely than my immune system was strong enough to fight off a cold before it got nasty. That just never happens.

I spent the day doing blog things. I tweaked my “About” and “Contact” pages. My “Now” page will go live tomorrow and hopefully my “Completed MOOCs” and “People I’m studying” lists too. I started a draft for the next Weekend Coffee Share and for my review of One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel García Márquez. By the week’s end I hope to have a real writing portfolio started too!

In the evening we worked out a few wedding things. We got the application for our ceremony site permit filled out and sent off, emailed all the first choice caterers, finalized the guest list, and made a to-do list to get me through the end of the month. We’re freaking out but we’re holding each other accountable. We promised each other that wedding work would be done every day, no matter how tired, overwhelmed, or terrified we feel!

These entries are inspired by Thord D. Hedengren

069 // Only Half Failed

Sunday again, my old foe. I’ve wasted so much of it and I’m not even sorry. Yes, I am, but I’m trying not to be. It’s not my fault. Sundays make it hard to be productive by being so nice in themselves but being so close to Monday that they are resented for the association.

So, I tried, and only half failed so I’m not mad. The day is simply set up for failure.

But tomorrow will be different, I hope. I already know I won’t have as much time to myself as I need but I’m promising to do good work nonetheless. I’ll muster all the enthusiasm it takes and be sure to save a little over so that when the work is done there’ll be something left for me.

https://www.tumblr.com/lisamarieblair/183367374345/adam-jk

These entries are inspired by Thord D. Hedengren

068 // The Morning After and Goodbye

Considering the number of drinks I had last night I’m doing surprisingly well this morning. I’m up late, sure, but I’m up. The headache is minor but my limbs are very sore. That has nothing to do with the drinks and instead everything to do with the children left in my charge last night. They were heavy and wild, jumping into my arms and running me ragged through the night.

There was plenty of dancing too, which I think is why my feet hurt so much, but I’m not complaining. It was worth it to be last on the dance floor with my sisters. We were carefree, sipping our last drinks and requesting all of our favorites. It devastated us that the party had to end, but I’m making a mental note for my own wedding this summer that there must be an after party planned for those who want to hold on to the night just a little longer.

We said goodbye to my sister and her kids this morning after brunch. I’m glad we got just a little more time together, but I’m always sad to see them go. Life is better when we are all together, but I understand why they needed to move away. They needed to see a new place and to find independence. They wanted to start a new life, not just for them but for their kids, and their kids’ kids, and for generations to come.

I envy them; I disagree with them, but most of all I just miss them.

These entries are inspired by Thord D. Hedengren

067 // A Big Day, but Not Mine

Today is the big day! Not our big day, but my brother’s and I couldn’t be happier, more excited, or more stressed out for him.

I’m spending the morning with my mother, my sister who flew in from Texas and her kids. Our other sister is a bridesmaid, so she is with the wedding party and my fiance is the photographer and is documenting the happy couple as they get ready.

I’m tired and anxious, ready to get to the ceremony and ready to get through the night. Being the sister of the groom is a weird position. You’re important, but your role is less than if you were the sister of the bride.

I don’t know what my role is, but I’m desperate to find one, to be useful and to stay busy.

We’ve come to the end of a beautiful night. I had much more fun than I expected to and this is the first wedding that I can honestly say I was sad to see it end though; I hope it won’t be the last. It was beautiful, but it wasn’t mine.

That isn’t to say mine will be better, because I don’t think it will, but it will be mine and sometimes we love something more for our possession of it alone.

Soon.

These entries are inspired by Thord D. Hedengren

066 // I’m Happy Too

I’m stressed, exhausted and irritable today, but I’m also feeling so, so happy too.

My doctor did call to yell at me as I expected she would when I set up the appointment yesterday. At the same time, she was professional and compassionate. She’s worried, but she also cares. We’re moving forward and I have more blood tests to do and a new schedule for future ones.

My sister flew into town last night, which is why I am both exhausted and happy. I was out later than I should have been to be with her, her kids, our other sister, and my mom. We had fun. We always do when we are together, but it’s more than that. Sisters, no matter how difficult or annoying they are, or how different they are from you, they know you. They might not always get you but they know you better than anyone.

They live their lives beside yours, for all of their lives if not all of yours. It’s a gift too many of us squander and I am determined not just to be grateful for them, but to give them a reason to be grateful for me in return.

I still had to get up early this morning for work, which explains the irritability, but I’m trying my best to keep my spirits up. I’m off tomorrow for my brother’s wedding and after that, I’ll have one less thing to stress about while I stress about all the other things I have to do.

These entries are inspired by Thord D. Hedengren

065 // Gah!

Why, oh why, does the United States health care system have to be so damn complicated!

The IBD nurse called to schedule a time for a phone appointment with my Gastroenterologist tomorrow. I’m positive she wants to yell at me for not getting my shit together and taking too long to enroll in the financial assistance program through the drug company so I can start my new medication.

The thing is, I actually had my shit together this time…mostly. I was only dragging my feet for like, a week! The rest of the time I was waiting for the cost analysis from the insurance company, then trying to figure out which financial assistance program to apply for, then reapplying after I applied for the wrong one, then having them explain to me that the one I am approved for is a special one that is extra complicated for no reason other than because I have my insurance provider likes to make things complicated, then, after I was finally approved, having them try to explain to me how it works, twice!

Now I’m enrolled in a program I barely understand and still cannot use for another 7 to 10 business days while a wait for a welcome packet in the mail and somehow, it’s my fault this is taking so long?

And that is just the tip of the healthcare iceberg. Choosing an insurance provider in the first place was complicated. Getting a diagnosis was complicated. All the blood tests and side effects are complicated. Keeping myself well is complicated. Choosing, starting, and switching medications is complicated. It shouldn’t be this damn complicated!

All this, I am convinced, is only further complicating the condition all this complication I am going through is supposed to treat!

These entries are inspired by Thord D. Hedengren

064 // Getting Through

I can’t wait to get through this week! I’m looking forward to the weekend when all this will be over and I can once again concentrate on my own problems, plans, and worries.

…I’m always trying to just get through. I’m trying to get through this task, this day, this week, this event or this worry. I imagine when it’s over everything will be easier, but the truth is it won’t. There will always be another hard task, day, week, event, or worry. The truth is all those tasks, and days, and weeks, and events, and worries are what life is made of and I shouldn’t wish it all away so easily.

These entries are inspired by Thord D. Hedengren