We’re mourning yesterday’s loss and tragedy and the weather is certainly giving permission for us to do so. The clouds are thick and low, and a steady drizzle has been falling all morning. The cold has crept back into our bones and no one feels much like smiling, not outwardly, not in public.

Home is the safest place right now. I’m craving comfort food, big blankets, and an early bedtime. Tomorrow probably won’t be much better, but at least it won’t be today.


These entries are inspired by Thord D. Hedengren

This morning we woke up to the news that a teenager had died in a shooting near our work last night. Last I heard the shooter was still at large.

Later in the day all of our schools went on “secured perimeter” lockdown as a school shooting happened in the next district over with reports now of 8 injured and one death.

Two shootings in a day. Too much death for one day.

Working at a school district in this day and age when guns are glorified and these tragedies are sensationalized is heartbreaking, confusing, and terrifying. We fear for our lives and we worry over our ability to assist and to stomach carnage, we might encounter one day.

Some of us have already been impacted by gun violence in the past and some of us have lost loved ones in mass shootings already firmly in the public memory by now. For them, and for all of us who feel like we are only waiting our turn, the cycle, the horrific repetition of death, drama, outrage, prayers, forgetting, and then more death, can feel like a nightmare we cannot wake up from.

I just want us to wake up now.

Please, wake up.


These entries are inspired by Thord D. Hedengren

If We Were Having Coffee // None of Us Feel Any Safer

Hello dear readers! Happy Sunday and welcome. Thank you for stopping by for a bit of caffeine and catching up. Today we’re having a late coffee. I had to be up early for a birthday brunch/Easter celebration with my family and afterwards; I was in desperate need of a nap. The kind of nap where you don’t… Continue reading If We Were Having Coffee // None of Us Feel Any Safer

This is a first in all my years working for a school district. Schools were closed district-wide, and metro area-wide, for a “credible threat”. A woman came all the way from Florida with, authorities believed, the intention of doing our children, our colleagues, and our counterparts in neighboring districts too.

She’s dead now but there are a lot of unanswered questions left behind. There are always unanswered questions left and all of them the same—why?

We’ll return to work tomorrow and though the authorities and the media assure us there is no longer a threat, in my heart the threat is still very real. It has been for a very long time. I know compared to those working in the schools I’m relatively safe, but I’m not just afraid for me. I’m afraid for us all.

The 20th anniversary of the Columbine High School massacre is in just a few short days and there were rumors this woman had friends or supporters here and that they were going to help her to do…whatever it was she planned to do. We’re assured this isn’t true but what if there is something the authorities don’t know?

I hate that this is the reality of the world now. I hate that our schools are no longer safe places. I hate that killing children is a way for people to enact their revenge and to make their mark on history. I hate the fear most of all.

When will we ever get to move on?

When will the threat finally cease?


These entries are inspired by Thord D. Hedengren

It shocked me to walk through the lounge at work today and see the terrible image of the Notre-Dame Cathedral engulfed in flames on TV. I’m no fan of religion but the church was, and certainly will still be, a marvel of human art and architecture. I am deeply saddened by the devastation and the loss that the building sustained.

Losses like these are shared among all of us, the whole human race. And when I say all I don’t just mean us who are living right now, us who are witnessing this terrible tragedy, but future generations who will never get to see the world and the past as we did. They’ve lost something too and through that lens, the devastation grows exponentially.

I myself never got to see the Cathedral and I’ll forever be sorry about that. I won’t get to experience it in the same way as those who came before me.

I’ve seen some mixed reactions to the burning Cathedral and rather than feeling one way or another I’m simply taking in the perspective and contemplating.

Being non-religious allows me to see this incident and this place in a more detached manner. I can see the lopsided response to this church burning and others. I can see the lopsided reaction to tragedies in some countries and the tragedies of others. I can sympathize with the bitterness and the outrage and I implore everyone to include this understanding in their grieving.


These entries are inspired by Thord D. Hedengren