Statuses

For the first day back to school, today actually went surprisingly well, though that did not make it a good day by a long shot. It’s okay though. I’m home now with my wife, my dog, a plate full of hot wings and a cold beer and not at all willing to rehash the day’s frustrations or disappointments here. I’m just too tired and my mood is quite fragile. I’m trying to be grateful and to enjoy the time I have that belongs to me before it’s time to head to bed, wake up, and do it all over again. 

It’s going to be a long week.

It’s going to be a long year.

*sigh*

Today I was a good wife, a good daughter, a good sister, and a good aunt too. It’s rare I am even one of these most days—or maybe it’s only rare I ever feel like I am—but today I got to be good in all the ways I’m always struggling to be good. Today I not only felt loved and admired but I felt deserving of love and admiration.

For the moment I don’t desire to be anyone else.

I think I will do nothing at all today and deal with my come tomorrow. I haven’t been sleeping well again and my body is hurting this morning. I could sleep here on this couch for at least another half a day easily, and I think I just might.

Sorry not sorry.

This week has feels like its lasted at least two weeks long and I already know the weekend won’t feel at all long enough but that’s ok. I’ll take whatever I can get.

I spent most of today helping out in the main office. The new school year starts on Monday and we are still moving into our newly renovated building. Nothing is ready. I wish I could have done more to help but I am already at hours and I am not being offered overtime. No matter how much I love my coworkers or how much I want them to succeed I am quite strongly and morally opposed to working for free so I went home early.

Now I’ve got a few cold beers waiting and my wife has promised to pick up a few tacos and an order of sopapillas on her way home. It’s time to start the weekend!

Sometimes people try to help you but only end up making you feel small. Sometimes people giving you more opportunities only reminds you of what you can’t do.

I love what I do, I’m good at what I do, and I am happy doing what I do but I do think I deserve more for my contributions. Instead of paying me more for what I do what I am often offered is more money to do something else and no one can seem to wrap their head around why I might not want that.

I have years of knowledge on anyone else around me. My knowledge is specialized but I have the time and the patience to delve deep. I elevate the standards and keep the liability low. My job is important and having someone confident and competent in my position is important.

But that’s one of the many things wrong with our corporate structure now. The people in power believe that entry-level positions should be filled with low quality, unqualified, disinterested workers, but keeping passionate, intelligent, and interested people happy at all levels should be a priority too.

People can do good work and effect profound change from the bottom and they deserve recognition and support there too.