The Week’s End // A Thought-Provoking Round-Up

Happy Saturday everyone! If you’re looking for some interesting things to read or watch while you kick back and relax, look no further, here are my favorite things from around the web this week:

1. “Thunberg is 16 but looks 12. She usually wears her light brown hair pulled into two braids, parted in the middle. She has Asperger’s syndrome, which means she doesn’t operate on the same emotional register as many of the people she meets. She dislikes crowds; ignores small talk; and speaks in direct, uncomplicated sentences. She cannot be flattered or distracted. She is not impressed by other people’s celebrity, nor does she seem to have interest in her own growing fame. But these very qualities have helped make her a global sensation. Where others smile to cut the tension, Thunberg is withering. Where others speak the language of hope, Thunberg repeats the unassailable science: Oceans will rise. Cities will flood. Millions of people will suffer.” — TIME 2019 Person of the Year | Greta Thunberg

2. “Our long, sometimes tumultuous relationship with octopuses…has settled into something nearing reverence. We once called them ugly monsters. Now we plaster their likeness on our restaurants and tattoo it onto our arms. We once bludgeoned them with oars and brawled with them for sport. Now we’ve elevated octopuses to what in this secular era passes for gods: extraterrestrials.” — The Octopus from Outer Space // Seattle Met

3. “Half of employees don’t take paid time off due to high workloads or worries about job security, and 49% don’t take their allotted vacation days, yet nearly three-quarters agree that paid time off makes them feel more productive and healthier at work, and a quarter of employees would be willing to take a pay cut to get more of it. In other words: desire to do it more, guilt for doing it, guilt for not doing it, repeat. Hmm.” — Americans have a psychologically twisted relationship with paid time off // Fast Company

4. “Demonstrators hold placards during a protest against Chile’s government, in Santiago, Chile, on December 10, 2019. ” — Photos of the Week // The Atlantic

5. “Individuals commonly have to decide what they absolutely swear they will do and what they promise with equal sincerity they will never do. Whatever activity it covers, that covenant beckons to hypocrisy. And then cheating.” — Why Do People Cheat? (Because They Often Win) // Literary Hub

6. “We have words to describe the flu, or depression, or the common cold. We know the contours and symptoms of these illnesses. But when it comes to climate grief, the experience can be hard to define, and thus harder to understand and demonstrate. If climate sickness exists in the overlap of the physical and the emotional, we need words for those feelings, a dictionary of sorts that allows us to see patterns in the experiences of individual people. Fortunately, that’s exactly what a group of motley philosophers, artists, and doctors are currently working to devise. ” — Under the Weather // Believer Magazine

7. “Lately, I think I’m experiencing democracy grief. For anyone who was, like me, born after the civil rights movement finally made democracy in America real, liberal democracy has always been part of the climate, as easy to take for granted as clean air or the changing of the seasons. When I contemplate the sort of illiberal oligarchy that would await my children should Donald Trump win another term, the scale of the loss feels so vast that I can barely process it.” — Democracy Grief is Real // The New York Times

8. “I think it’s complicated. There seems to have developed in the last 20 years these public conceptions of sex work and trafficking as being dichotomous…and there were arguments there between the various groups about whether trading sex was something that could be done consensually or whether it was always coerced.” — Sex Work // Call Your Girlfriend

9. “For the most part, my questioners have already presupposed a fairly limited set of acceptable answers to the question of what’s worth doing—answers that generally bottom out in the material wellbeing of oneself and others. But those answers, innocuous as they might seem to the speaker, are philosophical answers to a philosophical question.” — Is there anything especially expert about being a philosopher? // Aeon

10. “Everybody is familiar with the feeling that things are not as they should be. That you are not successful enough, your relationships not satisfying enough. That you don’t have the things you crave. In this video we want to talk about one of the strongest predictors of how happy people are, how easily they make friends and how good they are at dealing with hardship. An antidote against dissatisfaction so to speak: Gratitude.” — An Antidote to Dissatisfaction // Kurzgesagt—In a Nutshell

Have you read, watched, written, or posted an interesting or inspiring thing this week? Has something on the internet made you feel strongly, think deeply, or see the world in a new light? If so, drop a link in the comments, we’d love to check it out!


Photo by Roman Kraft on Unsplash

I’m home early from work today, thank God. The stress of trying to get though another day was getting to me and I simply decided not to deal with it at all and asked if anyone cared that I leave. Not one person objected.

I stayed long enough to get my work done and take care of a few commitments I’d made earlier in the week. I’m grateful that even though I’m still fighting this flare up the steroids have made the middle of the day bearable and even somewhat productive.

We had another luncheon at work. One of my bosses brought in homemade lasagna with salad, bread, and mini bundt cakes for each of us. After lunch we all pulled random $25 gift cards from a bag. I was lucky enough to pull the movie theater gift card, my wife and I’s favorite way to pass a Friday night.

Soon I’ll be heading out for some shopping. We’re seeing a play tomorrow (our first play together) and nothing I have to wear feels right. I want something new. Something to help me feel good and fight off the pain and depression of this flare up I’m going through. I’m determined not to let ulcerative colitis ruin this for me and that means treating and indulging myself to the max to get through it.

Happy Friday the 13th!

Death of the Periphery

I’ve often felt like the deeper discipline of poetry is overhearing yourself say things you didn’t want to know about the world, something that actually emancipates you from this smaller self out into this larger dispensation that you actually didn’t think you deserved. So one of the things we’re most afraid of in silence is this death of the periphery, the outside concerns, the place where you’ve been building your personality and where you think you’ve been building who you are, starts to atomize and fall apart. It’s one of the basic reasons we find it difficult even just to turn the radio off or the television or not look at our gadget — is that giving over to something that’s going to actually seem as if it’s undermining you to begin with and lead to your demise. The intuition, unfortunately, is correct. You are heading toward your demise, but it’s leading towards this richer, deeper place that doesn’t get corroborated very much in our everyday outer world.”

David Whyte

It’s felt like too much like Friday and throughout the morning I found myself suddenly down and disappointed in moments when I realized it was, in fact, only Thursday. The week continues to drag on.

At least it was a productive day. It’s been a long time since I had one of those. I worked on my first “Bradbury prompts” list and already have a little spark of an essay going around in my head. I wrote over 700 words of it so far, not necessarily good words and I wish there were more, but 700 is a lot more words than I have written outside of my usual posts here in weeks. For it being my first try, and for all the distraction I had to deal with, I’m very happy with the results and anxious to try it again tomorrow, and the day after, and for every day after that until, and if, it no longer works.

After all that writing I felt so good I had to get out into the sun. I went for a walk which turned out to be a bad idea and left me feeling a bit dehydrated and faint through the rest of the afternoon. I keep making the same mistake of pushing myself too far at the slightest sign of improvement and beginning to doubt I will ever change.

Can People Change? // The School of Life

“We ask, typically and acutely, when we’re in a relationship with someone who is inflicting a great deal of pain on us: someone who is refusing to open their hearts or can never stop lying, someone who is aggressive or detached, someone who is harming themselves or managing to devastate us. We ask too because the one immediately obvious response to frustration isn’t in this case open to us: we’re not able to simply get up and go, we are too emotionally or practically invested to give up, something roots us to the spot. And so, with the example of one troublesome human in mind, we start to wonder outwards about human nature in general, what it might be made of and how malleable it could turn out to be.

One thing is likely already to be evident to us: even if people can change, they certainly don’t change easily. Maybe they flare up every time we raise an issue and accuse us of being cruel or dogmatic; maybe they break down late at night and admit they have a problem but by morning, vehemently deny that there could ever be anything amiss. Maybe they say yes they get it now, but then don’t ever deploy understanding where it really matters. We can at best conclude that by the time we’ve had to raise the question of change in our minds, someone around us has managed not to change either very straightforwardly or very gracefully. 

We might ask a prior question: is it even OK to want someone to change? The implication from those who generate trouble for us is, most often, an indignant ‘no’. ‘Love me for who I am’ is their mantra. But considered more imaginatively, only a perfect human would ever deny that they might need to grow a little in order more richly to deserve the love of another. For the rest of us, all moderately well-meaning and half-way decent requests for change should be heard with goodwill and in certain cases acted upon with immense seriousness. Those who bristle at the suggestion that they might need to change are—paradoxically—giving off the clearest evidence that they may be in grave need of inner evolution.”

I’m stuck at home again. I don’t feel bad this time. I was up a lot last night and this morning I was in pain. There’s nothing I could have contributed like this.

Yesterday my doctor emailed to tell me the lab test had come back. We finally have proof of what I already knew, the inflammation is bad and I am not well. She asked how I was doing on the steroids so far (so-so) and asked me to check in with her in exactly one week. It’s a wait and see game now but it helps to have a healthcare team that follows up and at least appears to care. I have less anxiety knowing she’s just an email away when I need her.

I did make sure to rest more than the last time I took off but I couldn’t help a few cleaning projects and I did make time for a tiny bookbinding project. I needed a new notebook to start my “Bradbury prompts” list in. I needed something portable and ugly enough that I’d have no issues writing in it right away. I made a simple one out of an old manilla office envelope and some scrap graph paper I had lying around. I’ll post a picture later.

My boss’s retirement luncheon was today. We’ve all known he would be leaving for a long time now but the news is really hitting me emotionally today. He has been an amazing boss. The kind that gives you room to be the best employee you can. I wish more managers understood that trying to squeeze every drop of productivity and accountability only stifles passion and kills good ideas before they have a chance to develop.

If you make all of your employees feel important and treat even the lowest level workers as resources for radical solutions and change you can build a better team, department, and company than you could ever imagine.

If you have a boss like the kind I had, the kind that trusts you to do your best work, appreciate them and spread your wings while they will let you. I’m afraid of who will be the next head of our department and worried that I will be reined in and smothered again. Just imagining it exhausts me.